This Isn't Me
by Natalie Elizabeth
Summary: Buffy is married Reily who is abusive. Spike becomes the unlikely hero and rescues Buffy. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

This Isn't Me  
  
By  
  
Natalie Elizabeth  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Spike sat in his favorite bar staring at the glass of beer in front of him. Every couple of weeks he came to the same place to think about his life, or unlife in his case. After the Adam ordeal and the fact that the initiative had closed down Spike saw no need to stay in Sunnydale. The place only brought everyone who stayed there heart ache. Once leaving Sunnydale his life began to change. No longer was the Hellmouth sucking the unlife out of him.  
  
After a year scouring the continent Spike finally found a quite little town that suited him just fine. It wasn't really little compared to Sunnydale but it was compared to some of the towns he had stayed in. The vamp count wasn't high like in Sunnydale, so he was free to do what he pleased at night without being hassled. The people in the town were friendly and trustworthy and seemed to accept Spike even though he was kind of strange.  
  
This didn't effect him as he was easily able to obtain an apartment. Most of the apartments in his block were filled with single mothers or old people who liked the idea of a man around to protect them. He had been there for four years now, living in an apartment like a human.  
  
Spike picked up his glass and quickly drained it before throwing down some money and walking out. He didn't notice the couple in the corner arguing.  
  
"What do you mean you like this town better than the other ones I told you we weren't staying, were are only here for a couple of months"  
  
"Oh come on Riley please I like this town. I have seen more of this town than any of the others, and it seems nice. Cant we just stay put for once"  
  
"What do you mean you have seen more of this town have you been sneaking out" he yelled angrily.  
  
Buffy looked at him scared.  
  
"No Riley I swear I haven't I just meant that you have taken me out twice now"  
  
"You have been sneaking out you liar" he said standing up and grabbing her arm.  
  
"Riley I swear I haven't" she said as she was dragged out of the bar.  
  
Riley pulled Buffy outside and yanked her close to him.  
  
"You have been a disobedient wife you must apologize now"  
  
Buffy sighed and stepped back. "No please Riley my bones still haven't healed properly"  
  
Spike watched the couple from a distance. He had started to walk to his car when he heard the couple arguing. He knew that they were human but he thought it would be a laugh to stay and watch them. Spike only started to get worried when he saw the male take off his belt and inch closer to the girl. Spike went to walk over to the couple but quickened his place when he saw the girl get knocked to the floor.  
  
"Get up you stupid slut" Riley screamed kicking Buffy in her mid section.  
  
"Hey leave her alone" Spike yelled pulling Riley away and receiving a headache for his troubles.  
  
"Fuck off" Riley said turning around. He was startled when he saw Spike "Well if it isn't the chipped vampire himself"  
  
"Well captain cardboard I see you have to beat your women in order to get any"  
  
"Oh I get plenty from the tart without beating, its just sometimes she needs to be kept in line" he said walking closer to Buffy.  
  
"Hey wanker stay away from the girl"  
  
"Or you will do what" he said turning around to face spike.  
  
Spike prepared himself for the extreme pain as he hit Riley in the jaw. Riley flew back and hit the wall. Spike ignored the pain and ran over to the girl who was laying on the ground, a mass of hair covering her body.  
  
"Hey girl get up," Spike said shaking her hoping the chip wouldn't go off.  
  
The girl didn't move so Spike shook her again. This time her hair fell away from her face. Spike looked at Buffys pale and bloodied face in shock. Spike turned and looked at Riley who was trying to get up off the floor.  
  
"You did this to Buffy" he yelled in full vampire mode.  
  
"She is my wife and I can do what I want"  
  
"She is the slayer and no you bloody cant"  
  
Spike turned around to Buffy and began to shake her a little harder. Buffy finally came to and looked at Spike surprised and scared at the same time.  
  
"Spike what are you doing here"  
  
Spike looked between Riley and Buffy.  
  
"Saving your bloody ass that's what now come on" he said helping her to her feet.  
  
"Stay away from her you freak" Riley said stalking over to them.  
  
Buffy saw Riley's enraged face and hid behind spike holding on to his arm  
  
"Riley please calm down"  
  
"What you going for another vampire lover, our little games weren't rough enough for you huh," he said getting even closer to them.  
  
"Stay away from her" Spike warned  
  
"She's my wife I'll do what I want"  
  
"Now you wont" Spike growled kneeing Riley in the groin.  
  
Riley doubled over and Spike hit him in the back of the head before grabbing his own head in pain. Spike regained focus when he saw Buffy faint.  
  
"Oh shit" spike mumbled.  
  
Spike stumbled over to Buffy and began to shake her again. Buffys eyes opened and they were full of fear.  
  
"Its ok pet, ill get you away from him, I am going to pick you up ok"  
  
Buffy nodded and allowed Spike to pick her up. Spike walked around the blacked out Riley and began to walk to his car.  
  
"Where are you taking me" she inquired.  
  
"To my car, then to my place to clean you up, is that ok?. Would you like me to take you to a friends, you don't want to go to your home do you?"  
  
"No, no not tonight please" she pleaded with him now holding on to him for dear life.  
  
~TBC~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters they belong to Joss Whedon. I do however own this story. 


	2. Chapter 2

This Isn't Me  
  
By  
  
Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Spike parked his car outside his apartment and watched Buffy slowly get out of the car. She hadn't said a word on the way over and he was worried, that girl never seemed to shut up when he was in Sunnydale. The girl standing before him wasn't Buffy she was a shell of what Buffy used to be.  
  
"Where to now" she asked nervously  
  
Spike motioned to the apartment in front of them then began to fumble with his keys.  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him "You have keys to this place"  
  
Spike looked up and smiled at her "Yeah don't go much for the stealing these days"  
  
Buffy huffed "Yeah right I'll believe that when I see it"  
  
Spikes smile got even bigger. This was the Buffy he remembered the sarcastic Buffy.  
  
Spike opened the door and let Buffy walk in. Buffy was shocked by her surroundings. The outside of the apartment looked ok but inside was lavishly decked out.  
  
"Wow" Buffy whispered "You couldn't have stolen all of this right"  
  
"Nope I bought, it bloody expensive to, but hey its what I like" he said coming up behind her. "Sit down I'll get my first aid kit for that cut on your head ok"  
  
Buffy nodded and sat down and waited for Spike to return. She was impressed with his place, thick carpets, dark wooden furniture, and drawings on the wall. Buffy took a closer look and realized that they were of Drusilla and Angel. Buffy huffed, family portraits, kinda human like, defiantly different to where most vampires live.  
  
"Ok luv" Spike said coming back into the room with the first aid kit. "Lets get a look at you"  
  
Buffy patiently waited for Spike to clean her head. When he just sat there Buffy gave Spike a look.  
  
"What"  
  
"Oh nothing its just, well, there's blood all over your face and hair and clothes, you look kinda dirty as well"  
  
"So" Buffy asked hugging her body in and looking down feeling rather self- conscious.  
  
"Don't take this the wrong way luv, but umm would you like to take a shower"  
  
"What" she asked looking up.  
  
"Well it might make you feel a bit better you know get some clean clothes on maybe, its just down the hall there" Spike said pointing in the direction.  
  
"Umm ok" she said standing up. "But what's going to happen after I get out of the shower"  
  
Spike looked at her strangely "Well you get dressed, I'll loan you some of my clothes, might not fit but it will do right. Then I'll fix you up make sure you're all patched up and then you can go get a good nights rest"  
  
"Here?" she asked  
  
"Well your not bloody going home that's for sure, not after what I saw tonight. Have a shower you will feel better"  
  
Buffy nodded then headed in the direction of the shower.  
  
Spike shook his head, who would have thought that William the bloody would be looking after the slayer.  
  
Buffy walked into the bathroom and locked the door. Buffy looked around the bathroom and a small smile came to her lips when she saw the mirror. It probably came with the apartment but it was still funny that a vampire had a mirror. Buffy walked over to the mirror and her smile faded. What she saw was a frail looking girl. Skinny and pale with bags under her eyes and to top it off brown hair. Brown straggly waist length hair and god how she hated it. Riley said he loved it and she was never to change it. And that wasn't a suggestion that was a threat. Buffy began to take off her clothes and was once again disgusted with her self. Her body was littered with bruises cuts and scars; none of them made by a vampire.  
  
As Buffy stepped into the shower she winced in pain as the hot water seeped into her cuts. Buffy slowly fell to the floor in a fit of tears. She watched as the water mingled with the dirt, her blood and tears and wished she could be that water, so she could disappear down the drain.  
  
Meanwhile Spike had gone off in search of some clean clothes for Buffy. She needed to sleep so it didn't really matter what she wore. Spike pulled out a black t- shirt and a matching pair of boxer shorts. He found a pair of sweat pants in the bottom of one of his drawers, and decided she could wear them tomorrow if she needed them. Spike grabbed the shirt and shorts and headed to the bathroom. He was about to knock on the door when he heard crying. He put his ear to the door and the crying was loud and clear to him.  
  
"Slayer are you alright"  
  
Spike listened for a reply but all he heard was more crying.  
  
"Buffy are you ok in there"  
  
Buffy was still sitting on the floor crying when she heard Spike.  
  
"Umm yeah I am alright," she said standing up trying to clear away her tears.  
  
"Are you sure luv"  
  
"Yeah yeah I'm fine" she quickly replied "Ill be out in minute".  
  
"Ok if you're sure" Spike said unconvinced "There's some stuff for you to change into outside the door ok"  
  
"Ok bye" she said trying to get rid of him.  
  
Spike put the clothes down in front of the door then went back into his room to change.  
  
Buffy quickly got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. She quickly put her underwear back on then opened the door slightly. Seeing the black bundle on the floor she quickly scooped them up and went back into the bathroom. Buffy quickly changed then left the bathroom in search of Spike.  
  
"Spike where are you" she called  
  
"I'm in my room, get the first aid kit and ill fix you up in here"  
  
Buffy walked into the lounge room grabbed the kit and headed off in the direction she heard Spikes voice. She knocked on a closed door and waited.  
  
"Come in luv"  
  
Buffy walked in and saw Spike sitting on a king size bed wearing the exact same outfit.  
  
"Hey we match," she said giving him a small smile.  
  
"Yeah we do. Now come on luv lets get a look at that cut ok" Spike patted the space beside him and waited for Buffy to walk over.  
  
Buffy awkwardly sat beside him and handed over the first aid kit. Spike set to work cleaning up the cut on her head, which had started bleeding again. After applying gaze and tape to her head he began to look at her curiously.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
Spike shock his head "Nothing its just, umm are you bleeding anywhere else" Spikes face suddenly slipped into his demon face then back to human.  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Are you sure" he asked trying to keep his demon under control.  
  
Buffy turned her body away from Spike.  
  
"You are aren't you luv, you cant lie to me I can smell it"  
  
Spike turned Buffys body to him and began to look over her. He saw a jagged scratch peeking out from the sleeve of her right arm. Spike pulled the sleeve up further and saw the scratch continued, parts of it had spilt and were bleeding. Spike looked up at Buffy but she wouldn't look at him.  
  
"How did you get this luv, was it a vampire"  
  
Buffy just shook her head. Spike looked over at Buffys left arm and saw a multitude of tiny scratches covering it. Spike looked over her body and saw a deep wound peaking out of the boxers. He looked at her again for some answers and noticed scratches on her neck.  
  
"Oh god pet what happened to you'  
  
Buffy didn't answer.  
  
"They are all over your body aren't they" he asked  
  
Buffy nodded with tears starting to appear in her eyes.  
  
"Buffy can I see, I need to stop the blood its really affecting me"  
  
Buffy body began to shake  
  
"Its ok pet, I promise I wont hurt you I just need to fix it ok"  
  
Spike took the bottom of her shirt and began to lift it up. Spike was shocked with what he saw. The jagged scratch ran all the way up her arm just below her throat then down her abdomen. Spike pulled the rest of the shirt off and then examined her back. It was just as bad at the back.  
  
"Did I umm get kicked in the ribs?" Buffy asked nervously noticing a new bruise.  
  
Spike nodded "I couldn't get to you fast enough"  
  
Spike began to clean some of the cuts that had opened and began to bandage them.  
  
"Do you wanna tell me how this happened"  
  
"He, hes my husband, and I disobeyed him" She stammered  
  
"What" Spike yelled "That bastard did this to you, why"  
  
"I disobeyed him"  
  
"So he beats you then"  
  
Buffy nodded "Hes my husband he has the right"  
  
"No he doesn't, how long has this been happening, why didn't you leave him, go to your mum"  
  
"Its only been happening the last couple of years but not this bad. I tried to get away, I really did. He found me and beat t me for it, told me I was an ungrateful wife, that I couldn't get anyone better cause no one would want a freak like me and hes right."  
  
"Slayer how could you let him do this to you, what did your mum say"  
  
"She's dead" she stammered with tears now freely falling.  
  
Spikes eyes bulged "I'm sorry, when?"  
  
"About a year after you left, I had no one left"  
  
"Is that why you married the wanker"  
  
Buffy nodded  
  
"I don't understand why did he do this to you, what did he cut you with"  
  
"I knife I guess, it was blunt, he said I wanted it"  
  
"Yeah cause you really wanted this"  
  
"I tried to call Angel" she stammered  
  
"So he did this to you, over a phone call"  
  
Buffy nodded "He said I was having an affair, that I was obsessed with vampires and if I wanted rough sex he was going to give it to me"  
  
"Did he rape you"  
  
"No hes my husband he said its isn't"  
  
"How many times did he do this love"  
  
"Hes my husband, when ever he wants"  
  
Spike stood up and shouted "The bloody bastard, I'll kill him"  
  
"No Spike you cant, just leave it please"  
  
Spike sat down next to Buffy "Are you alright"  
  
Buffy nodded "I just want to get some sleep ok"  
  
"Ok put your shirt back on and lay down"  
  
Buffy cringed "So I am guessing you want payment for looking after me then"  
  
Spike looked at her with wide eyes "No pet I don't" he said angrily. "What has this guy done to you, I want you to lay down to get some sleep, nothing else"  
  
"But Riley says"  
  
"I don't care what the wanker says you don't need to do that ok. Riley is wrong about everything. Just because he's your husband it doesn't give him the right to do what he wants, you're the slayer not some freak. Any guy would die for you "  
  
Buffy looked up at Spike embarrassed. It had been awhile since anyone had said something nice about her.  
  
"I'll see you in the morning"  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

This Isn't Me  
  
By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Buffy woke the next morning feeling weird. She oddly felt safe and relaxed which was usual considering she was lying in a vampires bed. Her bed at home was a scary place for her and made her dread the nighttime. Buffy got out of bed and walked into the main part of the apartment. She walked into the kitchen and saw Spike stirring something on the stove. Buffy scrunched her nose up.  
  
"That's not blood is it"  
  
Spike jumped in the air then turned and looked at Buffy.  
  
"Sodden hell luv you nearly gave me a heart attack"  
  
"Hate to break it to you Spike but your kinda already dead"  
  
"Ha ha Slayer, very funny, so what are you doing out of bed so early" he inquired. She looked a lot healthier and happier.  
  
"Its like 11, I am not allowed to stay in bed any later than 7 Riley's rules"  
  
"Yeah well luv your not at your house, your at Casa di Spikes, you can sleep as long as you want"  
  
"Nah that's ok I'm not tired any more, so is that blood"  
  
Spike smiled "Nope chocolate, you want some it should be ready in a couple of minutes"  
  
Buffy nodded and took a seat at the table and began to get a good look at the kitchen. It had everything in it that a normal kitchen would. Fridge, stove, cupboards, sink, sink with dirty dishes on it and a phone. Buffy stared at the phone; she wasn't allowed to use it after the last incident. Spike noticed her looking at the phone and smiled.  
  
"Do you wanna call some one luv"  
  
Buffy looked up shocked, she hadn't realised how obvious she must have looked.  
  
"Umm no that's ok" she replied timidly.  
  
"Its ok luv you can use the phone, I'm am not going to hurt you ok"  
  
"Well I would like to call Xander he must be really worried"  
  
"Go ahead" he said turning back to the chocolate.  
  
Buffy slowly picked up the phone but then dialled quickly in excitement. After a few rings the phone picked up.  
  
"Hello" came a male voice.  
  
"Hi Xander it's me Buffy"  
  
Spike smiled when he heard the whelps excited voice, someone was happy to hear her. He tried to ignore the conversation but it was hard with vampire hearing.  
  
"Oh my god Buffy how are you I have been so worried, you haven't called in ages I thought something might have happened to you"  
  
"No Xander I am fine"  
  
"Your not going to get in trouble for being on the phone are you, I mean Riley's not around is he"  
  
"No umm I am not at home Riley and I had a fight last night, so I am staying at Sp.., umm I mean umm a friends"  
  
"Good Buffy you cant go back to him"  
  
"I have to Xander he's my husband"  
  
Spike scoffed and Buffy looked up and glared at him.  
  
"Can you hold on for a second Xander" Buffy didn't wait for a reply before she covered the phone with her hand.  
  
"What" she barked.  
  
"You're not going back to him luv"  
  
"Excuse me"  
  
"I said your not going back to him luv, he'll kill you"  
  
Buffy shrank back into her chair and held the phone tightly. Spike noticed the scared look on Buffys face.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that slayer, its just how can you go back to the wanker.  
  
"Cause I have no choice"  
  
"Don't give me that shit slayer you have plenty of choices"  
  
"Oh yeah like what" she yelled getting angry.  
  
"Well umm living with the whelp"  
  
"I can't do that hes got his own family and I don't know how to survive on my own "  
  
Spike thought for a second then smiled. "You could stay here, just until you figure things out"  
  
Buffy looked at him surprised "are you serious"  
  
Spike Nodded "Well if it means you don't go back to that wanker then yeah I am serious"  
  
Buffy looked at him for a second then turned back to the phone.  
  
"Hey Xander it looks like I am going to stay here for a couple of days"  
  
Spike turned the chocolate down because it was over flowing and poured it into two cups. He set one in front of Buffy then grabbed a pen and paper and wrote something down and handed it to Buffy.  
  
Buffy looked at the paper and saw there was a phone number on it. Spike quickly exited the room giving her some privacy.  
  
"Umm yeah Xander I have got a phone number right here"  
  
Spike sat in the lounge room sipping his chocolate and waited for Buffy to finish. After a few minutes she came into the room with her chocolate in her hand.  
  
"Sorry I don't have much food in the house luv"  
  
"That's ok this is great"  
  
"You call go ok"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Need to call anyone else"  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes "Luv I think you should call Angel"  
  
"What why" she asked shocked.  
  
"Cause the cape crusader is probably worried about you"  
  
"Is that ok I mean I know you to don't get along"  
  
"Yeah its ok luv the poof and I have come to some sort of understanding go call him."  
  
Buffys face lighted up with a smile before she ran off in the direction of the phone.  
  
~TBC~ 


	4. Chapter 4

This Isn't Me  
  
By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Buffy came in half an hour later after finally getting off the telephone to Angel. She found Spike sitting on the couch watching T.V.  
  
"So how did it go" he asked not looking up from the T.V.  
  
"He agrees with Xander" she replied glumly  
  
"Hows that"  
  
"He thinks I should divorce Riley"  
  
Spike finally took his eyes away from the screen and looked at her.  
  
"And I am guessing you agree"  
  
"For once in my unlife I actually think the Whelp and the Poof have a point"  
  
Buffy walked over to the couch and fell into the seat. "It's not like I haven't tried, it wasn't worth the trouble" she began to rub her arm.  
  
Spike noticed this and looked at her with worried eyes "He break ya arm"  
  
"Yeah but it was nothing you know fast healing"  
  
Spike nodded, a slayer breaking her arm wasn't much of a deal it would only take a few days to heal, it was the fact that Riley had done it that really pissed him off.  
  
"So what else did the great and wonderful Angel have to say"  
  
Buffy glared at him "He wants me to go to L.A and stay with him"  
  
Spike sighed "And are you going"  
  
"Why are you trying to get rid of me"  
  
"Well slayer you know how you can be a pain" he said with a smirk.  
  
Buffy whacked him "Hey"  
  
"So you gonna go"  
  
"I don't really want to, you know it would just be to awkward, but you know right now its like my only choice, cause you have all pointed out that I cant go back to Riley"  
  
"Hey look you don't have to go to L. A you can stay here, I cant believe I am saying this slayer but I wouldn't mind your company"  
  
"Just for a few days right"  
  
"Well as long as you need, we worked well together, when you weren't beating me to a pulp"  
  
Buffy looked at him slightly confused "Umm, I'll think about it"  
  
"Good now about that divorce, it can be pricey you know, do you have any money"  
  
"Yeah a little its in a fund Riley doesn't know about, its moms money. I told Riley that it was all used up when she was sick"  
  
"Well we can sort that out later, first we need to make you look like your not sick luv"  
  
"I do not look sick," she said standing up and placing her hands on her hips.  
  
"Sure you do luv, I mean you look as pale as me, and where has all your muscle gone, you're just skin"  
  
"Your point" she asked with a scowl on her face.  
  
Spike got off the couch walked over to a table and picked up his wallet. He opened it and took a couple of hundred dollar notes out.  
  
"Here luv there's a super market down the street go get your self some stuff".  
  
"Stuff" she asked surprised.  
  
"You know some food, women's stuff, whatever you need " he said thrusting the notes into her hands.  
  
Buffy started laughing "Women's stuff?"  
  
Spike looked up shocked when it suddenly dawned on him what he had just said. "No no luv not that sort of women's stuff, I meant some clothes, you know under garments" he said embarrassed.  
  
"Thanks Spike" she said folding the money. She then looked down at what she was wearing. "Umm what am I going to wear I left my cloths on the bathroom floor they are probably all wet and dirty"  
  
"I found a pair of sweats for you to wear last night they are sitting on the dresser"  
  
"Thanks" she said running off into the room. After a few minutes Buffy returned wearing the grey pair of sweat pants and had now tied the black shirt up in the front. "I think I left my shoes in the bathroom"  
  
Spike nodded.  
  
Buffy ran off to the bathroom, then came back hopping trying to put one of the shoes on. "Umm what should I do if I see Riley"  
  
"Hit the bastard"  
  
"Spike, I'm serious"  
  
"So am I" he smirked. "Look luv if your really worried here" he said picking up a mobile. "The old lady next door Mrs Weaver, she's kinda lonely, so she's taken me under her wing I would say, she gave this to me in case something goes wrong and I am not home"  
  
"Aww has Spike become a guard dog"  
  
"Shut up slayer she's a nice lady, just take the damn phone and if anything goes wrong call me ok"  
  
"Alright and thanks" she said waving the money. "So where exactly is this place"  
  
"Just head straight out the door and keep walking that way till you get to the end of the road and turn left, you'll see it"  
  
"Thanks do you need anything, blood" she asked  
  
"Nope just get your self some decent food, you know with some energy in it, and please get a comb, you hair looks really stupid"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and headed out the door.  
  
~TBC~ 


	5. Chapter 5

This Isn't Me  
  
By  
  
Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 5  
  
As soon as Buffy left, Spike raced to the phone. Buffy had to divorce the wanker and if it were up to her she would never do it. Spike hit redial and hoped for the best.  
  
"Hello Angel investigations, We help the helpless, how can we help you" came a female voice.  
  
"Yeah I need to speak to Angel"  
  
"I am sorry Angel is busy right now cant I help you?"  
  
"No I need to speak to Angel now" Spike growled "Its about Buffy"  
  
"Oh alright" Cordelia grumbled "I'll get him for you"  
  
Spike then heard the muffled voice yell "Angel there's some rude English guy on the phone he wants to talk to you, its about Buffy"  
  
Spike grimaced as he heard the unmistakable voice of his grandsire. "Cordelia you know he can hear you right"  
  
"So I am sure he knows hes rude"  
  
Spike smiled this girl had some stones if she was willing to stand up to Angel.  
  
"What's this about Buffy" Angel growled into the phone.  
  
"Now now Angelus, is that anyway to treat your grandchilde"  
  
"What do you want Spike?"  
  
"Oh what's wrong, wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning"  
  
"I don't have time for this crap Spike what about Buffy"  
  
Spike smiled he loved pissing him off. "I thought I would let you know that Buffy is staying with me"  
  
"Ha ha Spike very funny, I might have actually believed that if Buffy hadn't called me ten minutes ago"  
  
"Check your caller I.D thingy, where do you think she called from"  
  
Angel looked down at the phone and realized Spike was right "What have you done to her she said she was alright"  
  
"I didn't do nothing" Spike yelled into the phone "I saved her from that wanker and she is ALRIGHT here with me"  
  
"Alright, alright then, so shes ok then"  
  
"Well yeah physically, she will be ok, but Riley has really mucked her up"  
  
"What did that bastard do to her"  
  
"Well what did the Slayer tell you" Spike didn't want to reveal some thing he shouldn't. He figured Buffy told him about it out of necessity and he didn't want to betray her confidence.  
  
"She told me that they argued all the time but I got the feeling that there was something else"  
  
Spike sighed "Yeah I am guessing they were always fighting, that's stupid pratt, he hit her" he blurted out in anger  
  
"What" Angel yelled  
  
Spike mentally hit himself, maybe telling him wasn't a good idea. "He umm hit her that's why she is with me, I decked him then took her to my place, got a headache for my troubles too but it was worth it. Shes really messed up"  
  
"How is she dealing with it"  
  
"Yeah shes ok, the poor thing, a couple of hours away from captain cardboard has really done her good"  
  
"Why how was she acting"  
  
"She was really scared, and not of me, it was him. I think she felt comforted by a familiar face"  
  
"Even if it is yours" Angel smirked.  
  
"Yes even mine" spike sighed. "She looked like she was going crazy, kinda reminded me of Dru for awhile. She just kept rambling, he is my husband he has the right to do what he wants"  
  
"Is she still like that, she seemed alright on the phone"  
  
"Nah I think I have convinced her that shes Buffy Summers, not Rileys wife, its like she was brain washed, but I think there may be more to it"  
  
"Well as long as shes ok, umm thank you for letting me know I guess"  
  
"Hey hold on that's not why I called, you know some pretty powerful lawyers right"  
  
"Yeah why"  
  
"Well she is going to get that divorce but she says she has already tried. Riley must have some connections, but I figured you would have some better ones"  
  
"Yeah I think I can organize something, they owe me a favour"  
  
"Good I think it would be an idea to get one of those thingys were he cant come near her"  
  
"Yeah I can organize all that"  
  
"Good I want every thing done, I don't want her to have to see him again ok , any expenses take it out of my account"  
  
"Your account" Angel stuttered. What was Spike thinking.  
  
"Yeah, what of it"  
  
"Umm why, Spike you realise Buffy is the slayer right, she tried to kill you, you tried to kill her"  
  
"I owe her mother"  
  
"But her mothers dead Spike"  
  
"Yeah but she looked after me, she listened to me gave me chocolate, she invited me in even after she knew what I was"  
  
"Yeah she did always like you better"  
  
"Yeah well can you blame her. Look if she knew that I let her daughter get hurt she would come back from heaven and hit me over the head with another bloody axe"  
  
"And that's the reason"  
  
"Of course it is why else would I be helping her out"  
  
"I don't know that's what I am trying to figure out. Look I can organise it in a couple of days, Spike can I come and see her"  
  
Spike grumbled that's all he needed was that bloody poof swooning over Buffy.  
  
"Alright but bring all that stuff with you"  
  
"Ok not tomorrow night the night after I should be able to get everything then"  
  
"Yeah yeah, look I gotta get off the phone, do you want me to tell her your coming"  
  
"Nah I want to surprise her"  
  
"Ok well see you then"  
  
Spike put then phone down banged his hand down on the table. What had he done, Angel would come down and coddle Buffy making her believe that she is week. He just hoped that she wouldn't get to angry at him.  
  
~TBC~ 


	6. Chapter 6

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Buffy had just payed for all her purchases with Spikes money and was now making her way back to his house. Everything had gone ok on the Riley front. Buffy had made a few purchases for Spike to try make up for spending his money. As Buffy rounded the corner of the apartment complex she saw an old women sitting out the front of the apartment next to Spikes. Buffy smiled, it was a simple thing a women sitting outside her apartment but it was the small things that made this town seem really nice. Buffy walked past then stopped when the women said hello.  
  
"Hello there dear are you new to here"  
  
Buffy smiled "Yeah I am"  
  
"Oh that's nice will you be staying long or just visiting"  
  
"Well I am not to sure I was only going to be staying a few days, but I have been asked to stay for more"  
  
"Well, I hope you do stay its nice here, please wont you take a seat" she said indicating the seat next to her. "So which apartment are you in"  
  
Buffy pointed to Spikes and the womens smile grew.  
  
"Oh your staying with William, hes such a lovely boy, its nice that hes got company".  
  
Buffys brow furrowed she figured it was vamp central there every night, or at least a few floozies hanging around. "Doesn't he get a lot"  
  
"No dear, you're the first I've seen, I really look out for him, although I think he thinks he looks after me," she said with a smile.  
  
Realisation dawned on Buffy "Oh so your Mrs Weaver then, he told me about you its sweet that you guys look out for each other"  
  
"Well we try, so are you his girlfriend" she inquired.  
  
Buffy huffed "No I am just an old friend"  
  
"Did you know him from Sunnydale?"  
  
"Yeah I did, he told you about Sunnydale" she asked surprised.  
  
"Yeah but it seemed to really upset him, I mean having your brother run off with your girlfriend"  
  
Buffy looked confused, "Brother, Girlfriend".  
  
"Surely you have seen the pictures on the wall"  
  
"Oh Angel and Drusilla" that must have been the way he was able to explain it to the old women.  
  
"Yeah that must have been really hard, did you know Angel and Drusilla well"  
  
Buffy sighed "Yeah sorta, Angel was my boyfriend at the time he ran off with Drusilla, some boyfriend"  
  
"Oh your Buffy then"  
  
Buffy smiled "Yeah I am, how do you know, did he tell you about me" she asked surprised, why would spike talk about her.  
  
"Oh yes, he said the two of you never got along, but I could tell it was one of those love/hate relationships"  
  
"Yeah we loved to piss each other off" Buffy said smiling remembering the good old days when things were simple.  
  
"Well its nice that you to are getting along now then, he really needs a friend. Well I better let you get your food inside, William's probably waiting"  
  
"Umm ok it was nice talking to you," she said getting up.  
  
"It was nice to have someone to talk to, so are you going to stay then"  
  
Buffy turned around and smiled at the women. "Umm yeah I think I might it seems like a great town"  
  
"Well good then I have to have you and William over one night for tea"  
  
"That would be great, bye" Buffy turned and walked over to Spikes apartment and knocked on the door.  
  
Spike walked over to the door knowing that it was Buffy, he could smell it was her. Opening the door a little Spike stood behind it so he wouldn't get caught by any of the suns raise. Buffy slowly opened the door and peaked in.  
  
"Spike where are you"  
  
"I am right behind the door luv"  
  
Spike laughed when the Slayer jumped. She turned her head to look at him before coming all the way in and shutting the door.  
  
"Getting soft Slayer cant even sense how close a vampire is to you"  
  
"Yeah like you count" she scowled.  
  
Spike frowned he thought she was just playing at not knowing he was right there. He was actually waiting for the door to come back and hit him in the face.  
  
"You alright Slayer"  
  
Buffy shivered then looked up at him "Umm yeah I am fine, why wouldn't I be"  
  
Spike shrugged his shoulder then walked over to the kitchen. "Come on luv lets see what you bought then" Spike went to grab one of the bags but Buffy pulled back.  
  
"Umm that's the one with womens stuff in it"  
  
Spikes eyes bulged out of his head and Buffy laughed.  
  
"You know underwear"  
  
"Oh, umm ok" he said grabbing another bag, "Let see what you bought"  
  
Buffy looked up at him shyly from one of the many bags she had been carrying. "I felt bad for spending you money so I bought some food that hopefully you would eat, I remembered that you sometimes eat"  
  
Spike nodded  
  
"Well I got these for breakfast" she said holding up a box of weta bix.  
  
Spike looked up.  
  
"Weta bix" he practically yelled. Spike reached over the table and grabbed them and stared at them.  
  
"So I am guessing you like them and I am going to have to fight you for them"  
  
Spikes ears pricked up, fight, in her condition she didn't look like she could fight and hadn't for awhile.  
  
"Umm yeah fight me sure, so what else have you got" only seeing bread and milk in his bag.  
  
"Well I got food that's going to give me lots of energy, like pasta and rice. I figured you could like mix them with blood, the idea grosses me out but it doesn't make me feel guilty for spending your money"  
  
"Don't worry about it luv, we just need to get you back to your old self" Spike decided to test his theory and knocked a bag of rice off the table.  
  
Buffy just stared as the package fell to the floor. Spike looked at her confused; her slayer reflexes should have caught it easily.  
  
"What's wrong with you luv, even the whelp could have caught that"  
  
"Nothing I didn't see it"  
  
Yeah right Spike thought, she was staring right at it. "When was the last time you slayed, hell when was the last time you trained"  
  
Buffy looked at the table and wouldn't look at him.  
  
"God Buffy its been that long hasn't it. Damn it. Why didn't your friends say anything to you about it, don't they usually help you out. I know the whelp has a family, but what about Red or chirst what about your Watcher, what does he say about you not doing your sacred bloody duty"  
  
"Well there in England so they don't really know"  
  
"What do you bloody mean there in England"  
  
Buffy flinched, Spike was now really yelling at her. "When I got married Giles didn't think he needed to train me anymore, that I had learnt all I had to so he went to England, Willow went with him to study magic" Buffy now began to shake.  
  
"And I am guessing that wanker of a husband wouldn't let you right"  
  
Buffy nodded then started bursting into tears. "Its not like I could anyway, I am so weak"  
  
"Is that what the bastard told you" Spike grimaced.  
  
"Well yeah sorta, the first time he hit me I tried to hit back but I couldn't, I thought I had been drugged but I couldn't find a puncture wound. I thought maybe he had put it in my food so I took every precaution but still nothing"  
  
Tears were still running down Buffys face, and Spike himself started to feel sorry for her. She had gone through so much on her own.  
  
"Stop crying luv"  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Do you miss not slaying"  
  
Buffy nodded slowly.  
  
"If you stop crying I'll make a deal with you"  
  
Buffy looked up at him, what deal could he possibly be willing to make.  
  
"If you want I'll help you get back to what you once were. I'll help you train then maybe even let you slay a few vamps who aren't me" he said with a small smile.  
  
"Really" she asked hopefully  
  
"As long as you stop bloody crying, I can't stand it"  
  
Buffy smiled and wiped away her tears. "Ok" she said looking back in the bag. "Speaking of crying look what I bought" Buffy held out a mag of little marshmallows.  
  
Spike grabbed the bag out of her hand and ripped the bag open. He then proceeded to chuck a handful into his mouth.  
  
"Mmm, these are great Slayer. I never get to buy stuff shops usually close right on sundown. I usually have to rush in and out. Its either that or ask Mrs Weaver to get them for me. But that's not something a bachelor like my self is supposed to eat, you know me being the tough guy and all"  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows, yeah like Mrs Weaver thinks William is a tough guy, she thought.  
  
"What else you got in that sack, Santa"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Well you still smoke right, I mean I asked the girl at the counter and she seemed to recognise your description"  
  
"Course I bloody smoke, out mind you"  
  
Buffy reached into the bag and pulled out a small box and handed it to him.  
  
"Well I hope these are the right ones then, the girl said there the ones you always buy"  
  
Spike looked at the cigarettes. "Umm yeah they are, thanks, but you know you don't need to do all this for me"  
  
"I know but I still feel like I owe you some how, oh yeah and she says to say hello by the way"  
  
Spike looked up and smiled "Little red head"  
  
Buffy nodded  
  
"Yeah that's Jess, good little kid"  
  
"Spike, she's like older than I am"  
  
"Yeah well Slayer that's young compared to me. Umm you can put the food in one of the empty cupboards" Spike grabbed the milk and other perishables and put them in the fridge. "I am going to go watch some T.V. so if you wanna eat or what ever go ahead"  
  
"You're just going to laze around all day," she asked following him into the lounge.  
  
"Yes Slayer and I don't want to hear any crap about what Riley says if you wanna relax you can, now sit"  
  
Buffy flopped on the couch and sighed.  
  
"What's wrong now Slayer"  
  
"That's exactly what's wrong you keep calling me Slayer, I'm not the Slayer, do I look like a Slayer, this isn't me" she said flinging her hair.  
  
"Fine" he said standing up "You wanna look like the Slayer I remember, then we will make you the slayer, now come on" he said grabbing her arm and pulling her off the couch.  
  
"Spike what are we doing" she said trying not to fall over as Spike pulled her along.  
  
"We are going to make you the Slayer," he said walking into the bathroom.  
  
Spike let go of her hand and opened a drawer and pulled a pair of scissors.  
  
"We are going to cut my hair, no offence Spike but that's going to make much of a difference"  
  
Spike smiled a big toothy grin. "Well Slayer its no secret that I'm not a true blonde"  
  
"Really" Buffy asked shocked.  
  
Spike laughed and then pulled out a huge container. "But this might do the trick to make you feel a little more like the slayer"  
  
Buffy looked at the huge container of peroxide and smiled. "Alright lets do it"  
  
~TBC~ 


	7. Chapter 7

This Isn't Me By  
  
Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Spike waved the scissors around Buffys head and watched her laugh.  
  
"Spike I cant see your reflection so it looked like the scissors are possessed"  
  
"You sure you want me to do this luv, I mean I have cut hair before, Drusilla made me but she wasn't handy with a stake, just the wips and chains"  
  
"I trust you Spike, and ewww"  
  
"Hey take that back" he asked annoyed.  
  
Buffy laughed. "What the I turst you or the ewww"  
  
Spike frowned, he was supposed to choose.  
  
"I am serious, now come on cut it"  
  
Spike held the scissors to her hair then began to move it up. "Tell me where luv"  
  
"I want it just a little below my ear"  
  
"Are you sure" he asked raising his eyebrows which she couldn't see.  
  
"Yep now cut it all off"  
  
Spike grabbed a few strands of hair then cut it. He closed his eyes and winced waiting for the Slayer to yell at him.  
  
"Well come on fang breath keep going"  
  
Spike looked up and saw Buffys smiling face. "Ok luv" he said grabbing more hair.  
  
"Why are you doing this spike?" she asked.  
  
"Cause your hair looked stupid" he said cutting off her brown long locks.  
  
"No not the hair, well yes the hair, but just everything, letting me buy food and clothes and staying here, I mean why, your supposed to be like my arch nemesis, your like my Darth Vader" she said putting on a deep voice.  
  
Spike laughed. "Yeah well, you know I hate you right, well I hate that wanker even more, and you can't kill your enemy if there down right"  
  
"Why not I threatened you heaps of times, what's the real reason"  
  
Spike sighed "Alright I'll tell you, but I am going to come off as such a bloody poof, so you cant laugh alright"  
  
"Alright" she agreed.  
  
"Its cause of your mum"  
  
"My mom" Buffy asked surprised.  
  
"Yeah, when I came back after Drusilla dumped me, your mum listened to me, remember she wouldn't let Angel in. She was a nice lady reminded me of my mum a little. If she knew I let you get hurt well I can just imagine the swinging axe"  
  
Buffy laughed "Yeah she did like you, the axe was kinda funny too"  
  
Spike cut the last few strands of her hair then stepped back to examine it.  
  
"So what do you think Slayer"  
  
Buffy turned from side to side looking in the mirror. "Yeah it looks good," she said trying to see if she could put her hair in a ponytail.  
  
Spike looked at the back of her neck strangely. "What's this?" he asked looking at a cluster of pinpricks.  
  
"What" she asked trying to see it in the mirror.  
  
Spike touched the area and Buffy winced and so did Spike.  
  
"Oh that, we think it's an allergic reaction to something, maybe a shampoo"  
  
"I think we have found out why you are weak Slayer, these are needle pricks"  
  
Buffys face paled "Are you sure" she stuttered  
  
Spike nodded, and Buffy began to shake.  
  
"Its alright luv" he said rubbing her arms. "Your alright now, we'll make sure your alright, ok. I'll take you to the hospital tonight, to make sure its nothing ok"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "They will see my scratches and ask questions"  
  
"Listen to me luv, it's the only way your going to get back to you ok"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Alright then luv, I know a guy at the hospital I'll see if he can get you in. I'll leave you to do the rest of your hair".  
  
Spike walked out and Buffy heard him pick up the telephone. As she began to cover her head in way to much bleach, she thought about how her life had changed in less than 24 hours. She remembered how she felt when she came to and saw Spikes face. She felt relieved which oddly scared her. She had chosen to go with Spike, a vampire who may or may not still be chipped then go with her husband. The fact that Spike had helped her out was just as surprising. She honestly trusted Spike, he was so caring. She knew he loved Drusilla and saw how they were together, but this was different. He was showing genuine concern for someone he shouldn't. He was the only one who she could depend on now and the thought didn't scare her. She knew she had a place to stay if she wanted it, vampires were supposed to sleep during the day, so maybe she wouldn't see him that often. The sleeping arrangements were the only thing she found a problem, he said he would work something out, but she didn't like the idea that he had to sleep on the couch when it was his home. Buffy was shaken out of her thoughts when she heard Spike talking to her.  
  
"So luv have you thought any more about staying" he asked from the lounge  
  
Buffy put the finishing touches on her hair before heading out to the lounge.  
  
"Umm yeah I have, this place seems really nice and I would like to stay if that's alright, then I'll look into a place of my own maybe"  
  
Spike smiled "What made you make up your mind"  
  
"I dunno, I got a bit more of a look of the town today and its nice, so are the people. Mrs. Weavers really nice, she wants us to come over to dinner one night"  
  
Spike looked confused.  
  
"Oh I talked to her on the way back from the shops" Buffy suddenly noticed that Spike was drawing something on the paper in front of him.  
  
"What's that you're drawing"  
  
Spike quickly covered it up as if not realising he was drawing in front of her.  
  
"Umm nothing, look I am going to take a quick shower if you are done with the bathroom for now"  
  
Buffy nodded and Spike quickly scurried away to his room then left it a few minutes later for the bathroom. Curiosity got the better of Buffy and she ran into Spikes bedroom and began looking for the picture. She began going through his drawers but only found millions of black shirts. Buffy looked around the room then looked under the bed and found what she was looking for. She picked it up and sat on the bed examining it. It was a picture of a girl. Spike walked into the room and saw Buffy with the picture.  
  
"I guess I am not good at hiding things then huh"  
  
Buffy looked up at him shocked "Umm yeah, shes beautiful.  
  
Spike smirked "Your not modest are you luv"  
  
Buffy looked at him confused "This is me"  
  
Spike nodded "I know I am not as good as Angelus but yeah that's you"  
  
"But I don't look like that"  
  
"Yeah you do luv if you smiled a little more," he said embarrassed  
  
"So you think I am beautiful"  
  
Spikes eyes grew wide; when Buffy said the girl was beautiful Spike didn't deny it. Spike shrugged.  
  
"Well you know you are wearing my shirt so that is kinda a turn on, and if you were a vampire, yeah I'd date you"  
  
Buffy smiled "I am not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not"  
  
"Well you better I just gotta live down that I called the Slayer beautiful"  
  
Spike walked over to a drawer grabbed a shirt then left leaving Buffy still staring at the picture.  
  
~TBC~ 


	8. Chapter 8

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 8  
  
"Summers, get your ass out here now"  
  
"Do I have to Spike"  
  
"It's just the hospital luv, nothing to be scared off"  
  
"Yeah well when was the last time you were in a hospital, Never?" she said walking out into the lounge. She was wearing a new pair of jeans. "So you like the jeans there a little big"  
  
"That's ok luv, you can grow into them, but isn't that my shirt, getting attached to them are you"  
  
"Yeah well I only bought stuff I need and I figured I could just wear your shirts, that's ok right"  
  
Spike shrugged and opened the door allowing Buffy to walk out before following. The ride to the hospital was quite. Buffy seemed nervous because she kept playing with her hands.  
  
"It will be alright luv, I got us in with a friend of mine so there is nothing to worry about"  
  
When they got to the hospital Spike filled out the necessary forms then went and sat by Buffy. She looked really worried and Spike couldn't understand why. Spike wearily put his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry it will be over soon, the nurse said he will be out in a moment"  
  
"Ok, hospital just give me the major wiggens"  
  
Spike nodded.  
  
"Buffy Williams" A doctor called.  
  
Spike stood up and Buffy looked at him strangely.  
  
"Oh I didn't want Riley to figure it out, so come on"  
  
Buffy got up and followed the doctor down the hall.  
  
"Hi Buffy, I am Doctor Mega, those are some nasty scratches, I think I should take a look at them first before we discuss why you are here, just go in that room and put a gown on, I'll be in there in a second"  
  
Buffy nodded looking rather scared but walked into the room leaving Spike and the doctor out in the hall.  
  
"Hey Joe thanks for seeing us" Spike said shaking his hand.  
  
"Ok, Spike so what's this all about, what's with all the scratches, did you do that, is she all like grr, like you" he said baring his teeth.  
  
"No I didn't do that to her, her husband did and no she's not a vampire, she's the Slayer"  
  
"That's the Slayer" the doctor asked shocked. "That little thing, wow and her husband did that to her, I thought she was supposed to be strong"  
  
"She is, or was. That's why we are here I think he may have drugged her"  
  
"Ok, ok no need to jump to conclusions look I better go in and see how she's doing alright"  
  
"Ok I'll wait out here alright"  
  
The doctor knocked on the door then walked into the room to see Buffy sitting nervously on the table.  
  
"Hi Buffy, are you alright"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Where's Spike"  
  
"Oh hes waiting outside for you, why do you want him in here"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Well that's ok I'll just get him" the doctor stuck his head out the door and looked for Spike. "Hey Spike can you come here"  
  
Spike quickly walked over to the doctor. "Joe what's wrong"  
  
"Oh nothing, she just seems a little nervous, she wants you in here"  
  
Spike raised his eyebrows but followed the doctor in. "You alright luv"  
  
Buffy didn't speak but Spike understood that she must be a little scared he hated hospitals and doctors to, it reminded him of the initiative. Spike sat next to on the table.  
  
"Ok Buffy" the doctor said walking over to her "I need to look at those cuts, they look kinda nasty". The doctor took Buffys arm and raised the sleeve on the gown to get a better look. "Well they seem to be healing fine, does the wound continue all the way up"  
  
Buffy nodded acting the same way she had when Spike had examined her.  
  
"Ok well I better take a look at them to make sure they are not infected"  
  
Buffy shrunk away from the doctor, Spike noticed Buffys disposition.  
  
"Listen Joe, I checked them out there alright" Spike said glaring at the doctor.  
  
"If your sure, now where are these puncutre wounds"  
  
buffy turned her head arpund and allowed him to examine them.  
  
"Yep they are definatly made my a needle. Well I will just need to take a little blood then ok" he walked over to a drawer and pulled out a syringe.  
  
Buffy scrambled closer to Spike and held on to him.  
  
"Its ok luv he just needs to make sure your ok"  
  
"I know its just I'm scared"  
  
Spike pulled Buffy off him then nodded to the doctor to proceed. "Haa I never thought I hear the Slayer say she is scared"  
  
Buffy got angry "Hello, I am getting a test done to see if my husband has been giving me injections, and your asking me what's there to be scared about" the doctor stuck the needle in Buffys arm and started to take blood out with out her noticing.  
  
"Its just a little prick"  
  
"Yeah well you're a little prick and look how much trouble you are, I am now trusting my enemy, when the person I am supposed to trust has now turned onto my enemy, I have every right to be scared".  
  
"All done" the doctor said.  
  
Buffy looked at him confused.  
  
"The test" he said holding up the syringe with the blood in it. "Ill have to send it away for tests but your all done here, Spike was the perfect distraction"  
  
Buffy looked over at Spike and saw him grinning.  
  
"Come on Spike lets let her get dressed."  
  
Spike got up and left a shocked Buffy in the room. Once the doctor was out of the room, Spike bombarded him.  
  
"So what do you think it is"  
  
"Take it easy pal, I just took some blood, she seems ok so I am guessing it was just a sedative, if she had been human she would probably been sleepy but because she is the Slayer its probably just drained her strength. That's just a guess"  
  
"Well that's good"  
  
"She's not going back to him is she, poor thing"  
  
"She was, she didn't have anywhere to go. I said she could stay with me, your mother in law convinced her this is a nice town"  
  
"Well that's good, say hello to the old women for me, I haven't had a chance to go around and see her I have been doing double shifts"  
  
"Yeah I will, so you think she will be alright"  
  
"Yeah ill call you in the morning with the results, just be careful she seems really fragile she probably clinging on to you cause your someone familiar, she may need to see a psychiatrist"  
  
"Nah she's ok, she just doesn't like hospital once I get her home she will be as right as rain"  
  
Buffy walked out of the room and looked at the two, she knew they had been talking about her and was hoping it was good.  
  
"You ready to go luv"  
  
Buffy nodded and followed Spike out of the hospital.  
  
"So what did he say"  
  
"He thinks you will be alright"  
  
"Well well, what do we have here"  
  
Buffy and Spike turned around saw three vampires. Buffy shrunk behind Spike when she recognised them. Spike looked at the Slayer strangely then looked back at the vampires.  
  
"What do you want"  
  
"Looks like you got a nice little human there Spike we were wondering if you would share, seeing how you cant actually hurt the poor darling" the vampire quipped.  
  
One of the vampires took a step closer to Buffy and Spike and took a good look at Buffy. "Hey isn't that the girl from the other night"  
  
"Yeah she looks like her doesn't she" one of the others said.  
  
The vampire talking to Spike began to grin. "So her little mate letting you play with her and watching from the shadows huh. We had a bit of fun with her the other night I am sure he wouldn't mind if we joined in, just wait until after when he lets you watch them have a little slap and tickle"  
  
Spike turned at look at Buffy and saw tears in her eyes. With out looking Spike grabbed the vampire by the throat.  
  
"She's not that girl"  
  
"What" the vampire stammered with his feet dangling in the air.  
  
"She not that girl, take a look at her, it's not her"  
  
The vampire looked over at her. "Well her hair is different I think it was longer and darker"  
  
"Exactly" Spike said throwing the vampire at his two comrades. "The girl you are talking about is dead, her husband killed her. This girl here" he said snaking his arm roughly around her waist. "Is mine" he then roughly planted a kiss on Buffys lips "And you best remember that, because if anyone lays a finger on her there will be hell to pay"  
  
The three vampires began to run off in fear.  
  
"Oh and boys, I hear there is a Slayer in town and she's mighty pissed"  
  
The vampires continued to run off into the night leaving Buffy and Spike standing there with his arm still around her waist  
  
~TBC~ 


	9. Chapter 9

This Isn't Me. By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Spike turned and made his way back to the car. It was only when he reached the car that he realised that his arm was still around buffy. Spike jumped back from buffy with fear in his eyes.  
  
"Ok god Buffy I am so sorry"  
  
Buffy looked at him startled what the hell was he carrying on about.  
  
"I am so stupid how could I be that stupid. I mean I just rescued you from an abusive husband and then I get rough with you showing off to some vampires"  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows at him.  
  
Spike began to turn into a stuttering idiot. "No I didn't mean it like that, I kissed you to protect you. When I heard what they said I knew I had to protect you from those perverts. Kissing you made a claim on you in front of those wanker, oh god I am sorry. I'll understand if you wanna get away from me"  
  
Spike saw Buffy raise her right arm and closed his eyes preparing for the pain about to hit his face. When he felt her arm around his neck, he thought at first that she was trying to strangle him but her other arm was now resting on his back. Spike opened his eyes and realised she was hugging him.  
  
"Thank you" she whispered.  
  
Buffy let go of Spike and got in the car. Spike stood there flabbergasted, and was shocked that he had even used the word, before finally coming back into reality and turned and got in the car. Driving along Spike could see Buffys nervousness.  
  
"Spike about what those vampires said"  
  
"I don't wanna know Slayer"  
  
How could he not want to know she thought. "Ok I get it, its one of those, I don't want you to HAVE to tell me, I WANT you to WANT to tell me right, you know to prove that I do trust you"  
  
Spike looked over at her "No Buffy I really don't want to know, I have heard enough tales from the Finn household. I already hate the wanker for my own reasons and now your giving me more and you say I cant kill him".  
  
The pair sat in silence for a few minutes before Spike finally broke it.  
  
"I am sorry that I kissed you luv"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes "Its no biggie, I mean its not as if you haven't done it before I was just a little surprised that's all"  
  
Spike looked at her shocked "When have I kissed you before"  
  
Buffy smiled "Don't you remember, when Willow put that spell on us to make us fall in love"  
  
"Oh yeah, that sodden witch, but it wasn't to fall in love it was that we were to get married, there's a difference"  
  
Buffy sighed "Yeah I know now that there's a difference"  
  
"Hey, I thought willow did a forgetting spell on you"  
  
Buffy had a twinkle in her eye "Nah I told her not to worry about it, it gave me more reasons to want to kill you sorry ass"  
  
Spike nodded then a grin came to his face. "'So am I a better kisser than Angelus"  
  
Buffy laughed "Hes like a million miles away but your still having a pissing contest with him"  
  
"Well am I"  
  
Buffy thought for a second before replying. "I don't really know, neither of you was better or worse, just different. I mean with Angel it was like he was always scared, you know kinda bad for a vampire to be making out with a Slayer. He was always hesitant, I guess the soul was weighing down on him. Now you there's a whole different thing, I am not sure if it was the spell or just you but you had a certainty with your kisses, you knew what you what you wanted to do so you did it, nothing held you back"  
  
"Well see there you go, I am the better kisser"  
  
"Yah if you say so Spike" Buffy smiled it had been awhile when she had been kissed with so much passion and feeling behind it. "So why didn't we kill the uglies then"  
  
"Well I thought we would save them for tomorrow night, figure we do some training in the morning and that should at least get you ready for those wimps"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Really I really get to train"  
  
Spike shrugged "Well yeah if you want, I said I would get you back on your feet" Spike parked his car in the apartment block and opened his door. "Come on slayer we better go get some sleep big day tomorrow"  
  
~TBC~ 


	10. Chapter 10

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Buffy rolled over and looked at the clock next to Spikes bed. She quickly sat up when she realised it was after 1. Buffy scrambled out of bed preparing to yell at Spike, for letting her sleep. He said they would be able to train in the morning and she didn't want to waste time. Walking into the lounge room she noticed that he was still asleep on the couch. She walked over to him and poked him in the chest. When he didn't move Buffy decided to make them both something to eat. Although it was late Buffy decided that she still needed to eat breakfast. Opening the fridge Buffy pulled out a bag of blood for Spike and some milk for hot chocolate. Buffy went about making breakfast. In the end she had made two mugs of hot chocolate one with marshmallows in it for Spike, a plate of toast for herself and a mug of blood with weta bix in it. Buffy some how managed to carry the three cups and plate into the lounge and placed them on the coffee table before she sat herself on it. Buffy picked up the mug of blood and started waving it in front of Spikes face. Spikes eyes shot open, he then looked to his side and saw a smiling Buffy.  
  
"Good morning sleepy head, well I should say afternoon"  
  
Spike sat up and looked at her. Buffy handed him the mug of blood.  
  
"Breakfast"  
  
Spike took the mug and took a big gulp. He then started chocking on it.  
  
"Oh shit sorry"  
  
Spike recovered then looked down at his blood and saw lumpy bits in it.  
  
"Weta bix" he asked smiling.  
  
Buffy nodded "Yeah isn't that the way you like it"  
  
"Yeah it is thanks," he said taking a smaller sip.  
  
Buffy picked up her toast and began munching on it, only stopping to take a sip of her hot chocolate. Spike looked at her hot chocolate before returning to his blood. Buffy noticed this and smiled. He was just like a little kid.  
  
"Here" she said offering him the other mug of chocolate "Be careful there's marshmallows in it"  
  
Spike eagerly took the mug from her and quickly drank it down before returning to his blood.  
  
"So luv what's with all the niceness"  
  
Buffy looked at him shocked "What I cant be nice"  
  
Spike raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Well ok I figured if I made you breakfast we could start training start away"  
  
"Ok" Spike said standing up "Get up so I can move some stuff out of the way, when you finish eating start to limber up, don't want you to pull a muscle do we"  
  
Buffy shoved the rest of her toast into her mouth and scooped up the mugs while spike started moving the furniture around. Buffy left the dishes in the kitchen then sat on the floor getting her muscles ready. After a few minutes Buffy was ready and walked over to Spike for instructions.  
  
"Well umm what do you usually do with your Watcher"  
  
Buffy scrunched her nose up.  
  
Spike laughed "I am guessing boring meditation stuff"  
  
"Yeah some of that"  
  
"So I am guessing you want to strait away fight"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Ok well lay it on me"  
  
Buffy got in to her fighting stance and took a swing at spike. Spike easily avoided it and began to pace around the room. Buffy took another swing and missed again. Spike noticed that she didn't have the spark in her eyes that she usually had. Spike decided to piss her off that usually got her going.  
  
"Come on Slayer, I bet you cant even kick my ass"  
  
Buffy took another swing with a little more force but still missed. She still wasn't angry enough yet.  
  
"Angelus said you were a bad lay"  
  
Buffy stopped for a second and looked at him shocked. "What"  
  
Spike could see that she was really hurt by that comment. "I was just trying to piss you off slayer"  
  
"Oh ok" she said calming before hitting Spike square in the nose.  
  
The fight was on. Soon Buffys movements became smooth and her fighting with Spike looked like some choreographed dance. Punch, punch, kick, jump, punch, duck. For an hour the pair fought before Buffy finally got the upper hand. She stepped on Spikes foot and when he looked down Buffy took the opportunity to swing around and kick him in the middle of the chest. This caused him to fly back and hit the wall. Buffy grimaced at the sound his body made when it hit the wall. She then noticed that he wasn't getting up.  
  
"Spike come on get up," she said walking over to him.  
  
When he didn't respond Buffy kicked him in the foot.  
  
"Come on fang breath get up".  
  
Spike still didn't move. Buffy crouched down by him and used a move she always used to use on Xander when he was pretending that he was sleeping, she tickled him. Spike still didn't respond and Buffy began to worry. She didn't think she had hit him that hard but then saw the red footmark imprinted on his chest.  
  
"Shit" she whispered.  
  
Buffy lowered Spikes body to the floor so he was lying down and felt the lump forming at the back of his head. Buffy grabbed Spike under the arms and began to drag him off towards the bedroom. She figured that his injuries weren't that bad and all he needed was some time to sleep it off. Dragging Spike into his room Buffy dropped the top half on his bed then went and lifted his legs on too. Buffy tucked him into bed then went round the other side and sat on the bed. He looked so peaceful laying there that Buffy scooted down the bed and decided to lay down for a few minutes to recover from the training. With in seconds Buffy was fast asleep.  
  
Spike smiled as he felt the warmth of his blanket consume him. He pulled the blanket closer to him and snuggled up to it.  
  
Buffy rolled over and hugged the pillow tighter to her body. She loved the way the cool pillow made her hot flesh tingle.  
  
Spike and Buffy sat up in bed and gasped, they both looked at each other before scrambling to the edge of the bed.  
  
"Sodden hell, what happened"  
  
Buffy looked frantically between herself and Spike.  
  
"Was I just holding you," he asked shocked.  
  
Buffy nodded "Yeah and I think I was holding you"  
  
Spike nodded then looked up at her strangely "Why?"  
  
"I thought you were a pillow," she added hopefully.  
  
"No why were we in bed together"  
  
Buffys eyes widened "We weren't in bed together, well we were but not like that. You got hurt, I kicked you, you got knocked out so I put you in bed. I guess I fell asleep to, how's your head"  
  
Spike placed his hands behind his head and winced when he felt the lump.  
  
"Here let me look at that," she said walking over to him. Seeing that the lump had gone down a little made Buffy a little happier.  
  
Spike heard the phone ring and quickly moved away from Buffy. Spike left the room and Buffy began tidying up the bed. Spike walked in and saw Buffy leaning over tucking the bed. He let out a small gasp which made Buffy turn around.  
  
"Anything important" she asked  
  
Spike looked at her confused, oh the phone "Umm yeah that was the Doc. He says hes been trying all day, he rambled something off in doctor language, but basically your going to be fine. It was just as he expected, mild sedative, you should be fine in a few days maybe load up on the vitamins"  
  
"Umm well that's good right I should be good in a few days"  
  
Spike was staring at Buffy he didn't realise how good she really did look in his boxers. Spike tried to think un sexy thoughts "Riley" he said  
  
"What?" Buffy asked shocked.  
  
"Umm Riley, your stuff I think we should go get it, you know that way you have no ties to him, that way we can get your divorce over with, you know you said you had accounts right"  
  
Buffy was shocked "Umm ok yeah sure, I am not sure exactly where we were living though, it might take time to find it"  
  
"That's ok, look go take a shower then we will go get your stuff, then go find some of my undead cousins for you to release you anger on instead of me" he said rubbing his chest.  
  
"Umm ok sure" she said heading off to the shower.  
  
Spike decided that it was time to clear out some of the stuff in the room. If Buffy was going to be living with him she needed a place for her stuff. Spike cleared out one side of his dresser and there was plenty of room in is cupboard seeing as the only thing that really hanged in there was his duster. Spike then went back into the lounge to put everything right and clean up a little. Angel was supposed to be coming the following night and he didn't want him to think Buffy was living in squalor. Spike turned when he saw Buffy leaving the bathroom in only a towel.  
  
"You alright luv" he stuttered.  
  
Buffy looked at him sheepishly "Yeah I left my clothes in the room"  
  
Spike gulped "Umm just wait a second I'll get my clothes out first then you can change ok"  
  
Buffy waited outside the door while Spike got his gear. "There's a few empty drawers for your clothes"  
  
"Umm thanks" she said walking into the room.  
  
"Be ready when I get out the shower ok," he said walking off. A long cold shower he thought.  
  
Buffy walked over to the plastic bags that held her clothes. She pulled out a black pair of jeans, wanting to blend into the darkness in case they saw Riley. She walked over to the drawers and grabbed out another black shirt of Spikes then put the rest of her items in an empty one. Deciding that she better eat before she left Buffy quickly went into the kitchen and made herself a sandwich before sitting down on the couch. She noticed that the place looked a little cleaner and that the picture Spike and drawn of her was pinned on the wall underneath the ones of Angel and Drusilla. She didn't see it earlier as she was too busy kicking Spikes ass  
  
"I hope you don't mind I put it up" Spike said coming into the room.  
  
"Arr no just why did you put it up there I mean there your family"  
  
"Yeah well I figured I'd brighten up the place a bit, come on we better go" he said heading to the door.  
  
Buffy and Spike walked out and were startled when they heard some one calling them.  
  
"Hello Buffy, William"  
  
Spike smiled "Hello Mrs. Weaver, what are you doing out this time of night you know its not safe"  
  
"Oh, I'll be alright, and don't you look like a cute couple all in black then"  
  
"Oh were not a couple" Spike said rather quickly.  
  
"Oh I know dear but you should see you two its sweet"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and Buffy laughed.  
  
"Yeah well it was hard to find too many clothes at the store that wasn't black," Buffy said smiling.  
  
"Oh yes dear since William came to town a lot of the girls like to wear black"  
  
"Is that right"  
  
"Come on Slayer get in the car"  
  
"Well I better go other wise, he will get grumpy, you better get inside"  
  
"Ok well bye dear"  
  
~TBC~ 


	11. Chapter 11

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 11  
  
"Wow, you sure showed those guys slayer, they nearly wet themselves when they saw you were the Slayer"  
  
"Yeah well I am just glad their dust I mean wouldn't want them bragging about how they felt up the Slayer"  
  
"Hey" Spike said reaching for the apartment door "I said I didn't want to hear about that crap. No more Riley talk its on the past"  
  
"Yeah I guess" Buffy said pushing Spike out of the way and heading inside. "You know you didn't have to smash my wedding photo"  
  
Spike smirked "Yeah I did" Spike grabbed a few frames out of the bag he was carrying and placed them around the room.  
  
Buffy looked at him strangely "What are you doing"  
  
Spike looked up and smiled as he placed a large picture of Joyce on the T.V.  
  
"What this is your new home so I want to make it happy for you, plus I don't mind pictures of your friends or you mum, when I see the whelp it reminds me of how much fun it was to scare him"  
  
"And that's a happy thought" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike nodded "Yep"  
  
"Whatever, look I am going to take a shower is that ok, the vamp dust is making me itch"  
  
"Sure I am just going to watch some T.V. ok, oh and don't forget your clothes this time"  
  
"Yep it still ok if I borrow some stuff"  
  
"Yeah guess so, cant exactly have you walking around naked"  
  
Spike shuddered the reason she still had to borrow some of his clothes was that Riley did have her walking around naked, well almost. In Spikes hurry to get out of Buffys house he had decided to help with her clothes. Opening a small drawer he found a rather large collection of undergarments that would put some sex shops to shame. Spike quickly dismissed them making a joke about them being Riley's.  
  
Spike realised that Buffy was no longer in the room and he could hear the shower running. Spike picked up Buffys bags and took them into his room which was slowly becoming hers. Spike placed the few things she had taken from her house and placed them in the drawers. He placed all her paper work and a photo of the Watcher and her on a bedside table. Changing into a pair of boxers and a shirt he quickly exited the room and went into his lounge room to settle in for the night. Placing his head on the arm of the couch and lying on his side Spike grabbed the remote and started flicking threw the channels. A smile came to his face when he found one of his favourite things on T.V., Monty Python.  
  
After a few minutes Buffy came in with her hair awkwardly piled on top of her head. She dried her neck off then realised her hair and began combing her finger through it.  
  
"What you watching" she asked.  
  
Spike looked up at her "Monty python"  
  
"Is it any good?" Buffy asked coming up behind the couch.  
  
Spike returned his gaze to the T.V "Its Monty python of course it's bloody good"  
  
"Can I join you"  
  
Spike turned around surprised. "Umm yeah sure, if you want"  
  
Buffy walked around the couch and sat in the middle squishing Spikes middle.  
  
"You alright there luv"  
  
Buffy looked up and down the couch. She grabbed a pillow from under Spikes feet and placed it next to his chest. She then layed her head down on it, with her legs hanging of the edge. Spike was surprised by her action but noticed that she couldn't be lying there comfortable. He then looked down and saw that his legs were splayed out over the seat making it impossible for her to lay down properly.  
  
"Oh sorry pet, here let me move" Spike shifted so he was pressed into the couch making more than enough for her to lay down.  
  
"Umm thanks" she said lifting her legs onto the couch. "Hopefully I will now understand what Xander was talking about when he mentions Monty Python"  
  
After a few minutes Buffy was sleeping and Spike sighed, hopefully she would see Monty python another time. Spike turned the T.V off and tried to nudge Buffy. She groaned and Spike sighed, looks as if she wasn't going anywhere for the night. Spike turned slightly trying not disturb her and pulled his blanket off the top of the couch. He covered them with the blanket and put his arm around her protectively. He told himself it was so she wouldn't fall off the couch but who was he kidding. Spike closed his eyes and drifted off into a happy sleep. 


	12. Chapter 12

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Buffy lay half between sleep and awake smiling at the tranquillity she was feeling. She felt so warm and safe and happy. Lazily opening her eyes Buffy was confused when she saw the T.V. Buffy then realised the safety she had felt was Spikes arm wrapped tightly around her, the warmth was from a blanket he had covered them with and the happiness was well, she wasn't sure why she was happy but she knew it had to do with Spike. Buffy tried to get up without waking Spike up but failed miserably.  
  
"Hey luv" he said trying to sit up.  
  
"Hi sorry I didn't want to wake you"  
  
"Nah I should be up now anyway"  
  
"Umm we should probably eat right" Buffy walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.  
  
"You alright" Spike asked worried about what she had thought when they had woken up together.  
  
"Yeah why?" she asked getting Spikes blood ready and getting her self a bowl of weta bix.  
  
"Oh its nothing, well its not nothing, it just are you ok with the way we woke up"  
  
Buffy looked at him surprised "Yeah"  
  
"Are you sure" Spike was confused. Yesterday she seemed shocked when it happened but today she was calm even though it happened again.  
  
"Spike I'm fine are you"  
  
"I'm confused, you are ok with waking up in my arms, umm I mean next to me"  
  
Buffy sat down next to Spike and handed him his blood. "Yeah I am, it was nice" Buffys face went red with embarrassment.  
  
Spike noticed her red face and smiled "Yeah it was nice, it's been so long since I have hugged some one, you know just to hold them"  
  
Buffy looked up surprised. Did Spike just admit he like to be hugged, he liked hugging, surely not the big bad.  
  
"Don't look so surprised luv I was human once you know", Spike then looked up from her "Did Riley ever hug you"  
  
Buffy shrugged "Yeah a bit before we were married after that it was more a power hit you know, your mine sort of thing"  
  
"My mum used to hug me all the time, she said I was so small and thin and I needed all the extra hugs I could get. Drusilla would hug me sometimes, usually she was rough, but when she was sick she was nice and hugged me"  
  
"I'm sorry" Buffy said tears rolling down her cheeks into her cereal.  
  
Spike looked at her shocked he hadn't noticed she was crying, but he knew why, Angel.  
  
"Its not you fault"  
  
"How can you say that" she practically yelled through tears. "Drusilla left you because of me, Ms. Calender died because of me, my friends were in danger and almost died because of me how is this not my fault"  
  
Spike reached over to Buffy and pulled her into his lap. "Its not you fault pet, you couldn't have known what would have happened'  
  
"But I should have" she cried into his shirt.  
  
"Why, you made one wrong decision, everyone makes mistakes, your allowed to make mistakes, you think just because you're the slayer you cant make mistakes. Thanks to you Slayer my life is better"  
  
"Yeah cause that chip makes your life better"  
  
"Well sorta just meeting you changed my life and right now it doesn't look to bad to me"  
  
"Well this place is nice," she said smiling a little.  
  
"Exactly. Nice place nice company, life isn't looking to shabby"  
  
"I guess"  
  
Spike wiped the tears off her face. "So would a hug make you feel better"  
  
Buffy looked up shyly "Yeah it would"  
  
Spike smiled and wrapped his arms around her. He thought she was trying to break the hold when she lifted her arms. He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. Spike held her tightly and rubbed her back reassuringly. She was happy he knew she was happy and he liked it. He was hoping that she would stay, he was worried because Angel was coming and he was worried that as soon as she saw him she would fall into his arms. He wanted her here, this was her home. A thought came to his head, if this was her home, then it should look like she lived there, at least Angel could see that she belonged and couldn't convince Buffy to leave.  
  
"Feeling better"  
  
"Yep"  
  
"I had an idea"  
  
"What kind of idea" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"Well you live here right"  
  
Buffy looked at him confused "Umm yeah I guess, if I'm still welcome"  
  
"This is your home, and I want you to make it home"  
  
"Ok not following you Spike," she said getting up and taking her soggy weta bix in the sink.  
  
"I want you to go shopping, buy some things for the house, you know something other than black, I don't know girly stuff"  
  
"What your kidding, right"  
  
Spike wondered if this was a good idea maybe she would take this the wrong way thinking he was trying to trap her here. "No luv I am serious by some stuff and when you get back well will fix the house change some stuff around you live here to"  
  
Buffy looked up at him and smiled "Ok but as soon as I get to a bank I am paying you"  
  
"Whatever Buffy it doesn't matter, I am happy to share. Honestly I enjoy your company when you aren't being a pain"  
  
"Yes it does matter and what happens when I move out huh"  
  
Spike looked shocked "You're moving out already"  
  
"No but I cant life here this was only going to be a couple of weeks a few months at the most before I figure stuff out right"  
  
Spike started laughing. "Buffy are you really that dense I wanted you to buy stuff cause I want you to make this your permeant home. Stay here, you like the town, were getting along"  
  
"No I cant"  
  
"Why not" Spike pleaded walking over to her. He really enjoyed her being there, more than he should.  
  
"Well Riley for one and what would I do the moneys not going to last for long"  
  
"I'll fix the Riley problem, he was leaving soon right you wont need to worry, and well you don't need to worry about money" Buffy gave him a stern look. "Ok well I am sure there is work here in town maybe the supermarket, its not great but hey we can go out and slay at night, come on what do you say"  
  
"You've thought about this a lot right"  
  
"Well sorta but come on yes, no, the suspense is killing me"  
  
"Ha killing you, yeah right, you sure about this I mean really sure. You know I can be a pain, can be grumpy if I don't get enough sleep and there is a particular time of the month you don't want to know about"  
  
"Hey if I can put up with Drusilla for a hundred years this will be a cinch"  
  
Buffy whacked him in the arm.  
  
"Ok I'll stay"  
  
Spike jumped up ran over to Buffy and picked her up and swirled her around the room.  
  
"Sorry" he said putting her down. "Long time on my own, the littlest things excite me"  
  
"Ok well I'll take a shower than go ok"  
  
Spike nodded then shuddered when she left. The littlest things get me excited what was he some horny teenager.  
  
~TBC~ 


	13. Chapter 13

This Isn't Me  
  
By  
  
Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Spike paced back and forth in front of the door. It had been over two hours since Buffy had left to go shopping to redecorate THEIR home. He was only a little worried, he had asked Mrs weaver to go with her so she would be ok but he was still worried. He knew that the two of them would be gone for awhile considering they were both women but he didn't think it would take this long. Spike wanted everything in the house to be perfect, Angel was coming. Spike wasn't sure what to do about the sleeping arrangements, 3 of them, 1 large bed and 1 couch; he cringed thinking about Buffy and Angel sharing his bed. There was also the thought in the back of his mind about the permeant sleeping arrangements. Buffy didn't seem to mind them sleeping together last night but that was just out of conveyance, he would let Buffy have the bed and maybe invest in a sofa bed for the lounge room. Spike was shaken from his thoughts when he heard the keys in the door, Spike ducked behind the couch to hide from the sun.  
  
Buffy opened the door and staggered in over a Mountain of bags. She moved them out of the way before turning back to the opened door and grabbed more bags. Chucking them on top of the other bags Buffy looked around the room to see any signs of Spike.  
  
"Spike" she called.  
  
Spikes head popped up over the couch.  
  
"Yeah luv"  
  
Buffy started laughing the last thing she expected to see was him pop up from behind the couch.  
  
"Shit I didn't expect you to come from there, umm what are you doing"  
  
Spike got up and dusted him self off.  
  
"Oh I am just heard you at the door so I hid" Spike looked at the floor and saw all the bags Buffy had brought with her. "Slayer what in the hell did you buy"  
  
Buffy looked up smiling "Just some stuff, guess what"  
  
Spike looked up from the bags looking a little nervous "What"  
  
"I got a job"  
  
"What" Spike asked surprised  
  
"I got a job at the supermarket, Mrs. Weaver is a legend. When I told her I was staying for good and I needed a job she like latched onto the super market manager. You should have seen her Spike for an old woman she sure knows how to flirt; he didn't even care that I had no experience. I won't be able to start for a few weeks yet but I can go in for a couple of hours until then to get a feel for the store"  
  
"That's great Buffy" Spike said walking over to her, not sure if he should shake her hand or give her a hug. Buffy solved that for him when she threw her arms around him.  
  
"Isn't this great" she said pulling away from him.  
  
"Yeah it is. So what did you buy to destroy my place with"  
  
Buffy picked up one of the bags and headed into the kitchen.  
  
"I just bought a few things to fix our place up with" she said smiling  
  
"Ok so what did you buy to fix our place with"  
  
Buffy pulled out a table cloth and placed it on the counter.  
  
"A table cloth?" he asked surprised.  
  
"Well yeah you didn't have one and its nice to sit down and have a nice meal" Spike raised his eyebrows at her "Well ok I will make you gourmet weeta bix and blood ok, I just wanted to make this place a little more homely you know"  
  
Spike nodded "You got any thing else in that bag for here"  
  
"Umm yep just a vase and some fake flowers is that ok"  
  
"Hey pet this is our home I have done my best to decorate it now you can do it properly" he said with a smirk. "Do you want to change anything in here, you know furniture"  
  
"Nope" she said walking out of the room into the lounge room. "I would like to change a few things in the lounge though"  
  
"Sure what did you want to move"  
  
"The t.v and the couch, I mean if I am going to be coming and going all the time its not safe, if we turn it so the back is facing the door then it should give you some shade right"  
  
"Yeah but that means I am going to have to stare at the pictures on the wall"  
  
Buffy looked at the wall and smiled. Angel, Dru and herself. "Well if I am that repulsing to look at then you can just fry then"  
  
"Changing it sounds good to me, I'll grab the T.V if you get the stand then we will move the couch ok"  
  
Spike unplugged the T.V and picked it up and waited for buffy to move the stand up against the wall before placing it back on it. Spike moved the coffee table out of the way then easily pushed the couch around.  
  
"Alright luv decorate away"  
  
Buffy walked over to one of the bags and pulled a yellow and blue throw rug. She walked over to the couch and placed it over the back. Buffy pulled a similar rug for the floor and moved the bags out of the way and placed it in front of the door.  
  
"Anything else for this room"  
  
Buffy scooped up the rest of the bags and walked of to the bathroom. "I hope you don't mind that I bought some stuff for the bathroom, I know you said this is our home but the bathroom is personal"  
  
"Nah I would like to see what you bought"  
  
Buffy was relieved. She had bought all this stuff for the house, she knew he said she could but she still thought that she had gone over board.  
  
"Well I got a shower curtain, I noticed you did have one, and I thought it would come in handy in case I need to go and your in here." Buffys face flushed red with embarrassment about the thought of going to the toilet with Spike a few feet away, Naked.  
  
"Oh and it keeps the floor dry, so you won't slip"  
  
Spike started poking around in the bag and pulled out a few scented soaps. Spike sniffed each one then handed them to Buffy. "Lavender, Strawberry, Vanilla"  
  
"Yep, they look good and smell great too, oh yeah you can borrow them to I promise I wont tell anyone" Buffy reached into the bag that Spike was holding and pulled out two toothbrushes. "Here which one do you want, the red or the blue, I noticed yours was getting a little old and I didn't get one the other day"  
  
Spike was surprised she had bought him a toothbrush, a toothbrush, a simple toothbrush, but it seemed more on so many levels.  
  
"Spike" she said waving them in the air "Red or blue"  
  
"Oh umm red"  
  
"Cool" she said placing them next to the sink. "Just a few more bags, on to the bedroom"  
  
"Umm about that Buffy"  
  
"Oh come on spike I not going to destroy it just a little arrangement"  
  
Spike sighed brining up the sleeping arrangements wasn't going to be easy.  
  
"I was wondering if we could move the bed so its not the first thing you see when you walk into the room. Can we put it against the left wall where the dresser is and put the dresser against the wall with the door"  
  
Spike shrugged and went over and grabbed one side of the dresser and waited for Buffy to grab the other. Moving slowly they moved the dresser to the wall careful not to let all the drawers fall out.  
  
"You got anything dirty magazines hiding under the bed that you don't want me to see".  
  
"Nope but there is this" he said pulling out a large thin ax from between the mattress and the base.  
  
"You had me sleeping on that" she yelled.  
  
"Well I guess your not a princess then pet you couldn't even feel a axe let alone a pea"  
  
"What ever lets just move the bed" Buffy grabbed the end and began pulling it.  
  
"Hey let me do that you still not full strength" Spike waved Buffy away from the bed and began to pull it into position. "Is that alright"  
  
"Yeah its up to you, I just thought you might like some privacy if you like sleeping with the door open"  
  
"What but your sleeping in here not me,"  
  
"But Spike its your room I cant take over your room," Buffy took a deep breath "Look I was thinking, were grown ups right" Spike nodded.  
  
"Well it's a big bed and I don't want to take your bed and you won't accept it, so I was thinking if its alright we could maybe share it"  
  
Spikes eyes widened. "What?" he sputtered out.  
  
Buffy became self consciences and began fiddling with her hands "It was just an idea, I feel bad for taking over your life, I mean if your not comfortable with it its ok. I didn't think I would be I usually cringe when I am near a guy but I feel safe with you and I know you told me not to say that to you but its true"  
  
Spike stared at her with shock. She wanted to share his bed with him. Not in the sexual way but it was still them sleeping together. He remembered what it felt like to have her in his arms and secretly wanted it to happen again.  
  
"Umm yeah ok if that's alright with you, I mean if that's what you want"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Umm alright then which side do you want, left or right"  
  
Buffy smiled "Well which side is left and which is right"  
  
Spike stood at the end of the bed with his back to it and held up his hand. "Left" he said pointing to where Buffy was standing. , "Right" he said pointing to him self.  
  
Buffy thought for a second "Well I used to sleep on the right with Riley"  
  
"Ok luv then I am sleeping on the right then" Spike then death drooped to the bed with arms across his chest.  
  
Buffy smiled she knew exactly what he was doing, getting her as much away from Riley memories as possible.  
  
Buffy fell on to the bed with her arms flailed out hitting Spike on the way down.  
  
"Hey" he complained.  
  
Buffy rolled over and looked at him. "What you gonna do hit me" she said teasing him.  
  
Spike looked at her then lunged at her. But he didn't attack he tickled. Buffy burst out laughing and tried to fight back, but Spike kept at her. After a few minutes spike stopped and let Buffy catch her breath.  
  
"See what happens when you hit me in bed"  
  
"Ok ok I'll try not to hit you in bed, as long as we can do one more thing".  
  
Spike just stared at her, was she really suggesting what he thought she was suggesting.  
  
"I bought some little cans of paint, you know to brighten up the walls with designs"  
  
"Umm yeah sure" he stammered nice one as if she would think like that.  
  
"Its quick drying so it should be dry in like an hour"  
  
Spike got off the bed then pulled Buffy up with him. "What colours did you get"  
  
Buffy walked over to the last remaining bags, and pulled out three colours. "Blue, white and yellow, I figured we could do stars and moons and suns, I always wanted to do that to my room but mom wouldn't let me"  
  
"Sounds good to me. I thought you were going to paint over the black with pink or something, hey can you chuck me the blue"  
  
Buffy passed Spike the blue with a paint brush. Spike walked over to the door and began writing on it with the paint. Buffy began painting little designs on the wall and when he was finished he went and joined Buffy. After half an hour of painting Buffy sighed.  
  
"That's enough, its almost dark, what are we doing tonight"  
  
Spike closed the lid on his paint and walked over to her. "Well I thought we would have a nice dinner in to celebrate our new place, give us a chance to use that table cloth"  
  
"Really that would be great"  
  
"Take a shower first though, get all nice, I'll start making dinner ok"  
  
"This is really nice thanks" Buffy walked over to a drawer and pulled out a navy pair of jeans and nicked another of Spikes shirts.  
  
Buffy walked out the room when she passed the door she looked at what Spike had done to it.  
  
Buffy & Spikes Room.  
  
~TBC~ 


	14. Chapter 14

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Spike walked into the kitchen and began pulling out some pots to make them dinner with. He put one of the pots on with water in it to boil but set another two to the side for the sauce. Normal sauce for Buffy and a sauce/ blood mix for Angel and himself. Spike wanted to make the night special for Buffy, he felt nervous as if he was on a date, he just wanted everything to go well. Angel would probably come in and sweep Buffy off her feet and leave poor Spike on his own. Spike wasn't going to let that happen, he was going to show Buffy that he had a nice romantic side. Spike put the new tablecloth on the table then went about grabbing candles scattering them around the room. They gave off a nice warm glow and he hoped Buffy would appreciate it. Spike was a little unsure of why he was doing it, was it just to piss Angel off, or did he really care about Buffy, the Slayer, the Slayer. When did he go from calling her slayer to Buffy? The water began to boil so Spike put the pasta in and began to stir it.  
  
"Spike showers free if." Buffy walked into the kitchen and stopped. She looked around the room. Spike was at the stove stirring dinner. The room was covered with candles and Buffy could smell the faint vanilla, and it wasn't her soap she had used strawberry. Buffy was surprised, she knew he had said a nice dinner but this was not what she had expected.  
  
"Umm what's all this Spike"  
  
Spike heard the scepticism in her voice. "Umm, nice dinner, look if its too much, I'll get rid of it" Spike went up to a candle and blew it out.  
  
"No, No don't its nice"  
  
"Are you sure"  
  
"Yeah, never had a candle lit dinner before, I was just surprised"  
  
Spike walked back over to the pasta and began to stir it hoping that it hadnt stuck to the bottom.  
  
"If I go take a quick shower can you look after this"  
  
"Sure" she said walking over to him. "Have you got the sauces ready yet"  
  
"Umm no" he said walking out of the kitchen. "I'll do it later"  
  
"That's ok," she said grabbing a pot "I'll make yours, how much blood should I use"  
  
Spike suddenly stopped as if he was frozen then suddenly turned around.  
  
"Its ok luv I'll make my own I don't want to put you off your sauce"  
  
Buffy grabbed the jar of sauce and poured a little into two separate pots.  
  
"It won't put me off"  
  
"Its not like its the weta bix, its gonna look like where eating the same thing you shouldn't have to see it made"  
  
Buffy started laughing. "Its ok seriously, now go get in the shower otherwise the pastas going to get soggy".  
  
Spike quickly showered and changed into a newer pair of black jeans, his traditional black t-shirt, and a navy blue shirt buttoned almost all the way to the top. Spike walked into the kitchen and immediately went to cupboard and began pulling out some plates. Buffy was to immersed in stirring the sauce to notice Spike but the stronger scent of vanilla made her turn around.  
  
"Wow I didn't even hear you come in, wow you look really good"  
  
"Umm thanks, figure might as well"  
  
Buffy went to help Spike set the table when she noticed that he had three bowls in his hand.  
  
"Umm three bowls" she asked.  
  
"Yeah forgot to tell you were having company, here put these near the stove"  
  
When Buffy reached out for the bowls Spike noticed a still unhealed graze poking out of the short sleaved shirt.  
  
"Do I know this person?"  
  
"Umm yeah sorta" he said still looking at the graze.  
  
He could only imagine what Angel would think about the graze and the numerous questions he would ask.  
  
"Umm luv, why don't you put on that nice red long sleave shirt I saw you stuff in your bag. I know it's a little dressy and you probably wanted to wear it out but where having a nice meal at home, its almost like we are out right"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Umm ok, that's a great idea"  
  
Buffy raced off to the bedroom and Spike sighed, one less problem to worry about. After a few minutes Buffy walked into the kitchen and spun around.  
  
"So what do you think"  
  
Spike looked at the shirt it was high neck and came almost to her wrists where it spilt up into strips, and had some silky covering over it. Spike really liked her shirt, but it was because it covered her cuts, well at least that's what he tried to convince him self.  
  
"Umm yeah its nice, maybe one day you can where it out"  
  
Buffy nodded. Spikes heart dropped when he heard a knock at the door.  
  
"Do you want me to get that" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike nodded and watched Buffy walk out of the room and he hoped not out of his life. Spike sunk into a chair and held his head in his hands the return of the great Poof.  
  
Buffy walked to the door and opened it eagerly awaiting to see who was on the other side, what she saw shocked her.  
  
"Angel"  
  
"Hey Buffy" he said smiling. "Can I come in"  
  
Buffy nodded and Angel walked.  
  
"Its good to see you, you look great" he said giving her a hug.  
  
Buffy felt weird and uncomfortable in his hug he was big and offish, in an odd way it felt like Riley.  
  
"Umm thanks" she said backing away from him. "Umm what are you doing here"  
  
"Aren't you glad to see me"  
  
"Umm yeah sure, umm come into the kitchen"  
  
Buffy walked into the kitchen with Angel following her and saw Spike sitting down.  
  
"Umm Spike, Angel is here, why is Angel here"  
  
Spike looked up and smiled she didn't seem happy he was here. "Umm Buffy I invited him here, there's some things we need to discuss, but not now later. We were about to have dinner Angel but it wont be ready for a little while if you guys wanna go talk"  
  
Buffy shrugged she didn't really want to talk to Angel, he would just ask to many questions. Questions she didn't want to answer. Questions she didn't know how to answer. Only Spike knew the whole truth and that's the way she wanted it to stay.  
  
"Come on Angel, I'll give you a tour of our great apartment"  
  
Spike watched as Buffy grabbed Angel by he arm, not by the hand, by the arm, and led him off.  
  
Buffy took him back into the lounge and held her arm out like an assistant on a game show.  
  
"This is our lovely lounge," she said laughing at her own corniness.  
  
Angel looked around the room then walked over to the lounge and lightly touched the throw rug.  
  
"Spike really has some bad taste huh"  
  
Buffy turned to see what Angel was talking about.  
  
"Oh, umm that's mine"  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Yeah Spike let decorate the house a little so I bought some stuff, come on you have to see the room"  
  
Angel followed Buffy off to her room.  
  
"What do you think?" she asked walking in the door.  
  
"Umm yeah it's nice," he said standing in the doorway. Something blue caught Angels eyes and he turned to look at it. What he saw stunned him.  
  
"YOUR SLEEPING WITH SPIKE" Angel yelled.  
  
In the kitchen Spike heard Angel yell and held a small smirk.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked shocked.  
  
"This room is your and Spikes that's what it says on the door"  
  
"Yeah it is, but look and Angel it's not like that"  
  
"So you're not sleeping with Spike then"  
  
"No I am, but not like that, oh god Angel, look yes I am sleeping with Spike but not sleeping, sleeping".  
  
"I cant believe you Buffy you pulled away from my hug, me someone who is supposed to be your friend, yet you sleep with Spike, hes supposed to be your enemy"  
  
"Yeah well in times of need you turn to your enemy, cause sometimes there the only one you can trust, god Angel you can be such an ass"  
  
Spike smirked he could still hear there conversation from the kitchen and decided to break up there little lovers quarrel.  
  
"Hey Buffy dinners ready come on"  
  
Buffy stormed out of the room and into the kitchen. Buffy saw three bowls of pasta sitting on the table. Buffy looked at them.  
  
"Umm which one is mine"  
  
Spike pointed to the one at the head of the table.  
  
"You can sit at anyone Angel" Spike said indicating for him to site at the table.  
  
Buffy dug her fork into her pasta and put a huge pile into her mouth. Spike sat down and copied Buffy. Angel looked wearily between the two then at his food; he shrugged before taking a mouthful. Angels eyes widened with shock.  
  
"Buffy stop eating," he practical yelled,  
  
Buffy shared a secret smile with Spike then looked at Angel innocently.  
  
"Why?" she asked taking another mouthful.  
  
"Spike you bloody idiot, you're feeding her blood"  
  
Buffy and Spike started laughing.  
  
"This is not funny"  
  
Buffy scooped up some pasta and held it in front of Angels face.  
  
"Taste"  
  
"What" he asked shocked  
  
"Just taste it" she urged practically shoving it in his mouth.  
  
Angel tasted the pasta and frowned. "There's no blood in it"  
  
"That's cause I don't need blood to live, but you guys do, sorry Angel I am not a very good cook"  
  
"Bullocks luv it's great, the wanker doesn't know what he's talking about"  
  
"You want some blood Angel"  
  
"You actually eat food mixed with blood" Angel asked Spike surprised  
  
"Yeah" Buffy replied for him.  
  
Angel smirked and Buffy saw the hurt look on Spikes face.  
  
"Well yeah I don't like to eat alone" Buffy piped up. "I made a deal with Spike if I had to eat food then he had to, so Spike being nice and all not wanting me to starve eats"  
  
Spike looked at Buffy shocked. She had actually stood up to Angel when he was being an ass. More to the point Buffy defended him.  
  
Angel shrugged at Buffys comment and went back to his food.  
  
~TBC~ 


	15. Chapter 15

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 15  
  
The rest of the meal went pleasantly well. The deafening silence may have had something to do with it. When Spike finished his food he stood up and took his plate to the sink and then turned and grabbed Buffys and Angels.  
  
"If you to want to go in the lounge and talk you can, we will discuss business tomorrow Angel alright"  
  
Buffy looked suspiciously between Angel and Spike then shrugged and walked into the lounge room. And of course Angel followed her like a puppy. Spike roughly washed the dishes; almost braking Angels plate in the process. He was pissed off and that was putting it lightly. Sure he hated Angel and he hated the fact that he had asked him for help, but it wasn't for him it was for Buffy. The bastard had only steeped in his house for five minutes before had started yelling, the surprising this was that it wasn't at him. Spike thought for sure as soon as Angel got there that he would be knocked unconscience and Angel would steal Buffy away. When he had heard the arguing coming from the bedroom he was pleased, he knew the sleeping arrangement would piss Angel off. The thing that worried Spike more was that Buffy would be majorly pissed that Angel was there.  
  
When Spike finished cleaning the kitchen he decided to linger trying to eves drop on their mushy conversation but all he could hear was a the dull hum of his refrigerator. Spike decided to face the music and walked in the lounge. What he saw aggravated him. Angel and Buffy were on the lounge. Angel was sitting on the right and Buffy was laying down with her head on a pillow in Angels lap. Spike walked over to the couch and realised that they were watching a movie, a repeat from the night before, Monty python.  
  
"Umm I am gonna go out for awhile ok"  
  
Buffy turned around and looked at Spike surprised. "No Spike, come sit and watch, its Monty python, were up to the part I saw last night come on"  
  
Buffy moved her feet off the seat and patted the place beside her. Spike moved around the couch and sat down. He noticed that her feet were now squished, and she was unable to get conformable. Spike picked up her feet and rested them on his leg. Buffy looked over at Spike and smiled at him before stretching her legs out fully. Spike moved around for a minute trying to figure out where to put his hands. At first he kept them at his side then tried to rest one on the side but finally he layed them in his lap, on top of Buffys feet. Buffy wiggled her feet under Spikes hands and Spike took this as a note to take his hands off. Buffy looked at him and shook her head, Spike put his hands back on her feet, and she smiled then turned back to the movie. Spike turned his attention to the T.V and began to slowly rub Buffys feet, he heard Buffys heartbeat beat a little faster and smiled. As the movie was winding up Angel shook his thoughts of the movie away and began to pay attention to the girl almost a sleep in his lap. He noticed that her heartbeat was a little fast and began to worry that he had done something. He looked over her then realised that her feet were in Spikes lap and that he was massaging them. Spike was touching Buffy and he wanted it to stop without angering Buffy too much.  
  
"Hey Buffy can you get off, my leg has gone numb and I didn't think that was possible"  
  
Buffy sat up and stretched. "Oh well I thinks its time for bed anyway, you gonna stay Angel"  
  
Spike nodded at Angel.  
  
"Umm yeah I guess, where should I sleep"  
  
Spike kicked himself for even thinking it but he knew it was the only appropriate thing to do. "You can share with Bu."  
  
Buffy cut him off "On the couch, it's really comfortable to sleep on, Spike why don't you go to bed and I'll set Angel up here"  
  
Spike looked at Buffy surprised, shrugged then walked to his room.  
  
Buffy looked around the room and grabbed the throw rug off the couch. She placed it on the couch seats picked up the pillow she had been lying on and handed it to Angel.  
  
"Well I better go to bed to ok, you know where everything is if you need anything, if you wanna go out take the keys by the door ok"  
  
Before Angel got to speak Buffy was out of the room and into her bedroom with Spike.  
  
~TBC~ 


	16. Chapter 16

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 16  
  
Buffy walked into her shared room with Spike and saw him folding his clothes and putting them away in a drawer. All he was wearing was a pair of boxers and Buffy couldn't help but look. Spike felt her presence and turned around.  
  
"Oh hey luv the wanker alright then"  
  
"Umm yeah" she said walking over to a drawer and pulling hers, or rather Spikes pyjamas. Buffy looked nervously over at Spike and it took him a few moments to realise that she had to change.  
  
"Oh sorry" he said turning around and climbing into bed practically clinging to the edge.  
  
Buffy quickly changed into her pyjamas and went to turn the light off. On the way back Buffy stubbed her toe and winced slightly before climbing into bed making sure to stay close to the edge just like Spike. Spike rolled over on to his back and looked at Buffy through the darkness.  
  
"Are you alright luv"  
  
"What oh yeah just hit my toe it will be fine in minute"  
  
Spike chuckled. "Umm I actually meant with me"  
  
Buffy twisted her head in his direction. "Yeah why wouldn't I be"  
  
"Cause Angels here, I know you didn't want to go there cause it would be awkward, your not shitty that hes here"  
  
"No everything's fine"  
  
"Ok well look why don't you share the bed with him I don't mind sleeping on the couch" Spike pulled back the covers and almost had his foot on the floor when he felt Buffys hand on his arm.  
  
"No, I don't want to, stay"  
  
"Are you sure"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Spike pulled the covers back up and snuggled into the bed. "I just thought you might want him close"  
  
"Yeah you would think that wouldn't you"  
  
"What?" Spike asked shocked.  
  
"Nothing" she mumbled.  
  
"I didn't say what because I didn't hear you I said what cause I was shocked. Is this anything to do with the hug he gave you, how you didn't let him hug you"  
  
Buffy rolled over on her side so she could at least see Spikes outline "How did you know that"  
  
Spike was embarrassed. "I heard Angel yelling at you, the wanker"  
  
"Its not that I didn't want to hug Angel its just he reminds me of Riley"  
  
Spike scoffed. "I can understand that, they're both wankers"  
  
Buffy didn't respond and Spike knew that something was really bothering her.  
  
"Come on luv what is it"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Its just they are both big you know, when he hugged me it felt like it was Riley, I felt trapped again"  
  
Spike began to worry here he was lying in the same bed as her and she was telling her that she felt trapped. "I don't make you feel that way do I"  
  
Buffy reached out and touched his arm "No, never, don't take this the wrong way but your small"  
  
"I am not," he said angrily slightly raising his voice.  
  
"I told you not to take this the wrong way, your big compared to me but not big enough to feel threatening, I don't feel trapped when you hug me"  
  
"I am so threatening I could make you feel threatened if I wanted to"  
  
Buffy stared to slid backwards on the bed and almost feel off. "You want me to feel that way," she asked trembling.  
  
"Oh go no Buffy," he said when he realised she had moved away. Spike started to move over to her. "Come here luv I promise" he said opening his arms to her.  
  
Buffys heart lifted and she moved over snuggling into Spikes embrace. "I am really glad you rescued me, and did I just sound like one of those damsels in distress in an old western movie"  
  
"Yeah you did" Spike said running his hand over her hair. "But don't tell any one I did though got a reputation to keep you know" Spike turned his slightly and placed a kiss on her forehead.  
  
"Ok I wont, my hero" she said turning to look at him. She could just make out his lips in the dark room, how soft they looked and felt when he had kissed her head. Buffy reached up and placed her lips on Spikes, she was going to pull away when she felt Spikes lips react and deepen the kiss. Buffy pulled away when she realised how bad her actions were. She was still technically a married women and only been away from Riley for a couple of days.  
  
"I. Umm. Err" Buffy stammered.  
  
"Its ok luv shush" Spike said pulling her into a tighter hold. "It's alright" Spike kissed Buffy on the head again.  
  
"What the hell is going on here," Angel yelled turning on the light.  
  
Buffy and Spike sat up in bed shocked.  
  
"You filthy bastard" Angel yelled.  
  
"Angel, Angel I am alright" Buffy said trying to calm him down.  
  
"Keep your parts away from her" Angel said advancing on Spike.  
  
Spike slid back until he hit the headboard. "I was just comforting her about the divorce you idiot" Spike was thankful his brain was working. "I told her that why you were here she just got a little upset, god you can be an ass"  
  
Angel looked over at Buffy for confirmation, she noticed she was rubbing her face a little embarrassed.  
  
"I'm such an idiot" she said "The last couple of days I forgot about Riley, its just all so real now you know"  
  
Angel softened. "Oh ok are you sure"  
  
"Yeah Angel I am sure, did you want something, or just walking past"  
  
Angel looked confused for second then realised there was a reason he was walking past the door. "Oh umm doesn't matter now, ill see you guys tomorrow"  
  
"Ok Angel" Buffy said snuggling into the bed having now moved away from Spike.  
  
"If you wanna talk Buffy, I'll be up for a few hours yet"  
  
"Nah, that's ok" she said turning over on her side away from Angel "When you leave can you shut the door, I don't want the T.V to keep me up its been a long day"  
  
Angel looked shocked and Spike tried to hide his smile.  
  
"Umm ok night Buffy" Angel said as he walked out the door turning off the light giving Spike one last glare before he regrettably shut the door.  
  
Spike layed back down in the bed and sighed. That could have been a lot worse.  
  
"Spike" Buffy whispered. "Will you hold me please, like last night, just for a little while".  
  
"Umm sure luv" he replied shocked.  
  
Buffy scooted back a little and Spike met her in the middle.  
  
"You ok"  
  
"Yeah, so that's why Angels here to talk about the divorce"  
  
"Yeah I didn't want to get him involved but he knows some people who can help you, I didn't tell him much though"  
  
"Is that why you asked me to put on a longer shirt to hide the scars"  
  
Spike became embarrassed. "Yeah I didn't think you wanted him to see that"  
  
"Thank you" she said squeezing the hand that was around her waist. "I am going to go to sleep now ok"  
  
"Sure, I think you need it"  
  
Spike made himself comfortable. He didn't think it was possible to sleep with Buffys body pressed against him. It had happened the night before but that was because he had initiated it. Spike tightened his grip on Buffy before snuggling his head into the back of her neck and finally falling asleep.  
  
~TBC~ 


	17. Chapter 17

This Isn't me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 17  
  
Buffy woke up and felt Spikes body still spooned up against her, his arm tightly around her waist. Buffy turned around as best as she could with out breaking his embrace and looked at him. He looked so content while he slept, sweet and innocent. She knew that even when he opened his eyes that same sweet and innocent look would still be there but with a hint of toughness to it. Snuggling deeper into his chest Buffy wondered what she was doing. She was a married women, well granted she was married to a wanker as Spike would put it, but still she was married and now she was committing adultery. Well technically she hadn't had sex with Spike, just a few hugs, cuddles, and some amazing kisses but it still felt wrong. She knew Riley had numerous flings, he even had the nerve to bring one of them home saying she was a friend. He then proceeded to lock Buffy in the basement as punishment for not cleaning the house well enough, then shagged the slut upstairs in their bed.  
  
Buffy knew that their marriage was over long ago but it was still wrong or was it. What was so wrong with staying with a friend, she could have been staying with Xander and there would have been hugs maybe cuddling but defiantly not kissing. That was the clincher, Spike had kissed her with so much passion that she knew he felt something for her and deep down inside she liked that idea. The thing was did she reciprocate his feelings. He had been so nice to her, could she hurt him for not feeling the same way because it would kill her if she did. She knew he didn't expect anything in return for caring for her. She had offered herself to him that first night and he was shocked at the idea. She thought maybe he was repulsed by her that's why he didn't want her, but he had told her she was beautiful. Maybe he did want her but he wanted her completely not just her body. These ideas made Buffys mind swim. She knew she felt something for Spike and it was strong but she couldn't be sure what it was.  
  
She didn't know what love was. She thought she loved Riley but then turned out to be out of necessity. What if what she was feeling for Spike was the same. No it couldn't be this thing with Spike was so strong so deep so different. She couldn't blurt out that she loved him when she didn't even know what love was. Buffy shook her head all this thinking about Riley and Spike was driving her mad. Spike began to stir which made Buffy hold him tighter.  
  
"Morning luv been up long"  
  
Buffy shook her head. Spike realised his arms were still around her tightly.  
  
"Oh sorry luv, I didn't realise"  
  
Spike began to pull away but felt Buffys arms tighten around him. Spike decided to keep his arms where they were, it seemed to calm her.  
  
"Are you worried about Angel or Riley?" she asked  
  
Buffy cringed she hadn't even thought about Angel. "Both"  
  
"It will be alright you'll see I won't let anything happen to you"  
  
Buffy heart soared "Why"  
  
Spike looked down at her "Why what"  
  
"Why wont you let anything happen to me"  
  
Spike thought Buffy was nuts hey had gone through this before. "Cause you're a friend"  
  
Buffys heart sank "Oh so you do this with Mrs Weaver then"  
  
Spike reeled back "God pet no, come on what's this about"  
  
"Nothing" she said sitting up. "Come on, I am hungry"  
  
Buffy got out of the bed and walked out of then room. Spike layed back on the bed confused, what the hell was that. Was she tripping out again with all this Riley stuff? He hadn't meant to blurt out that Angel was here because of the divorce, its just Angel had surprised them both when he had walked in. The kiss. He couldn't remember exactly what had happened one moment she was laying in his arms the next his tongue was playing with her teeth. Spike replayed the memory over and over again in his mind. He had kissed her hair but she, she had kissed him, he remembered in surprise. Spike jumped out of his bed and went to find Buffy. She had kissed him.  
  
Spike found Buffy at the kitchen counter and raced up behind her and put his arms around her waist like he seen those wankers do in the movies that morning after they just had sex. Spike knew at any moment that Buffy could kill him for his actions but he didn't care, he was fully prepared to die. Buffy leaned back into his embrace fully ignoring the little voice in her head that told her to stop because Angel was sleeping only a few feet away. Spike looked at the counter and saw a mug of hot blood.  
  
"This mine" he asked grabbing the mug with one arm keeping the other around her.  
  
"A huh" she murmured. She knew she had to stop this but she didn't want to leave his embrace. She wanted his touch. Buffy turned around and tickled Spike under the armpits before quickly running to the other side of the kitchen. Spike gave her a cheeky grin before putting down his blood and running over to her. The blood could wait. Spike attacked Buffy with tender fingers running over her body tickling her. Buffy couldn't help it and let out waves of giggles. She tried to fight back but she would always get week when she was tickled.  
  
"Would you kids keep it down"  
  
Buffy and Spike stopped dead and turned and saw Angel looking at them. Buffy gave Angel a sheepish look and Spike just grinned.  
  
"Sorry dad"  
  
Angel rolled his eyes, cheeky little grandchilde. Angel looked at Spike and Buffy curiously. It had been awhile since he had seen both of them and they were different, but they were also different to each other. Finding them in bed together the night before had been a shock. He knew they were sharing the same bed but he expected them to be clinging to the edge not wanting to touch each other. He had rushed into the room because he thought something was wrong. He had heard Buffys fast heart beat and saw Spike kissing her. He had thought she was in danger, that maybe Spike was trying to take advantage off her. He was surprised when Buffy had been so cold to him; he was only trying to help. He couldn't help think that today he had walked into something much more than a tickle fest.  
  
"Seeing how I am up I guess we should get down to business"  
  
Angel left the room and returned with a bundle of papers.  
  
"Now Buffy, Spike told me you tried to divorce Riley before, but it didn't work"  
  
Buffy nodded sadly sitting down at the table with Angel.  
  
"Well then its good Spike called me. These lawyer friends of mine, they are ruthless they wont stop at anything, all this can be done with out you seeing Riley ever again, ok"  
  
Buffy nodded again but this time she started to shake. Spike sat down at a chair next to her and grabbed her hand.  
  
"Its ok luv Angels gonna work everything out ok, no more Riley"  
  
"Ok" she barley got out.  
  
Angel shuffled through the papers then found the one he was looking for.  
  
"This one is a restraining order, now usually it's a few miles that they aren't allowed to come near you, but where going to bulk it up a little he's not even allowed to be in the same state, so you will have to decide exactly where you are staying"  
  
"But wont he know where I am though" Buffy asked concerned.  
  
"Well see Lilah, that's one of the lawyers thought of that, were are going to get him banned from a few states to throw him off, so are you gonna come back with me"  
  
Buffy looked at Angel like he was crazy while Spikes eyes filled with fear.  
  
"Umm excuse me," Buffy asked confused.  
  
"I thought you were going to come back with me after all you know L.A, you might even see you Dad occasionally, you know be with family"  
  
"Why would you think that, I mean yeah I do know L.A but its not like I want to see my Dad"  
  
"Well where are you going to stay, did you get in touch with Xander are you staying with him"  
  
Buffy looked at Angel confused "Umm no I am staying here with Spike"  
  
"Yeah but that's just until we figure things out right"  
  
"No Angel I am staying here for good, or at least until Spike kicks me out that is"  
  
Spike smiled and Angel was horrified.  
  
"You can't stay here," Angel yelled standing up.  
  
Spike hated when Angel did that tried to be more powerful by being larger. Spike stood up, he was not going to sit down and take Angels crap.  
  
"Why can't she stay here, its safe"  
  
"Because she cant"  
  
"Why cant she, give me a decent reason"  
  
Angel began to stutter "Cause she umm, she just cant"  
  
Buffy stood up and walked over to Angel as much as she hated his out burst she knew he was worried.  
  
"Angel calm down" she said placing her hand on his arm.  
  
Spike was instantly jealous she was touching Angel when he was being a prick.  
  
"Look Angel I will be fine, I have some money and I even got a job ill be fine, you don't need to worry"  
  
Angel sat down knowing that he had been beaten but wasn't saying so.  
  
"Alright whatever it's your life" Angel began to shuffle a few papers then pulled a few out. "All you need to do is sign a few of these form and that's all you will need to do with the divorce my lawyers will handle everything else"  
  
Spike ran off into the kitchen then came back with a smile on his face and a pen in his hand. He thrusted it at Buffy watching her smile grow with his eagerness. Buffy quickly signed the papers then handed them back to Angel.  
  
"Is that it, I mean that's all I have to do"  
  
Angel nodded.  
  
"Umm ok umm I don't know if I have enough to pay yet I never really went this far with one. I start work in a few weeks so I can pay then hopefully, is that going to be ok"  
  
"Nope you don't need to worry about it, its all been taken care of"  
  
"What do you mean its been taken care of, Angel I cant let you pay for it"  
  
Angel looked up glumly then glared at Spike. "I didn't pay for it"  
  
Buffy followed Angels gaze and spotted an embarrassed looking Spike.  
  
"Oh umm ok, so when is it going to be finalised"  
  
Angels eyes widened. She had practically gone spastic when she thought he had payed for it but Spike paying was ok.  
  
"Umm yeah I'll call my lawyers there staying around here so we can finalise this, they will come by and get the papers and take them to Riley"  
  
"So it's all over, in a few hours I am free"  
  
"Well yeah, usually it can take years but like I said these lawyers there ruthless, they can do anything if they want to"  
  
Buffy stood up and began to pace around the room with tears in her eyes.  
  
"I'm free I'm free I'm free I'm free" Buffy kept mumbling as the tears spiled from her eyes. She finally collapsed to the floor, her "I'm free" murmuring became an almost scream. Spike ran over to her.  
  
"You alright"  
  
Buffy looked up at Spike, her eyes were filled with tears, but she had a smile on her face.  
  
"I'm free" she practically laughed  
  
"I know pet" he said pulling her off the ground.  
  
"I'm free, I can do what I want, wear what I want, be whoever I want to be"  
  
Spike smiled at her. He didn't want to mention that the last couple of days she had been able to do that, but he knew this was final. Buffy ripped the cheap gold ring off her finger.  
  
"Here Angel, have this, buy yourself a beer its probably all its worth"  
  
Buffy started dancing around in a circle. "I'm free, I'm free" she started singing.  
  
Buffy stopped spinning then looked at Spike and Angel with an evil grin.  
  
"Can we go out tonight to celebrate, can we go to that club you found me at Spike it looked really great"  
  
Spike looked wearily at Angel and he shrugged.  
  
"Umm ok luv if you're sure"  
  
Buffys smile dissipated "What am I going to wear I mean I can't turn up in black yeans and Spikes shirt"  
  
Angel laughed "Look at her Spike she's still technically married and she's already looking for a new man"  
  
Buffy gave Angel a playful frown. "Hey I wanna have fun, can't I have fun"  
  
"Yeah Slayer you can, look you have cleared all my cash out if I give you my credit card you promise not to max it out"  
  
Buffy looked at Spike then threw herself in his arms. "Thank you thankyou thank you"  
  
"Its ok" Spike said loving that her arms were wrapped tightly around him in front of Angel. "Just go buy yourself something sexy to make those guys fall for you". You don't need to wear sexy clothes to make me fall for you luv Spike thought.  
  
Buffy ran off into her room and change while Angel went and called the lawyers. Meanwhile Spike did a little dance around the room. She told Angel she was staying with him, she was now free. Buffy ran past Spike and waved to him before heading out the door. Angel came back into the lounge room.  
  
"I cant believe you" Angel yelled at Spike  
  
"What?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy realised that she didn't bring the keys and decided to head back and get them in case they were asleep. When Buffy heard Angel and Spike talking she stopped.  
  
"You know you can't protect her right"  
  
"I know that" Spike yelled at Angel this was his house and he wasn't about to be bullied. "She doesn't need protecting"  
  
"Of course she does, that's not the Slayer we saw leave that's a poor frail little girl, who you are taking advantage off"  
  
"Oh you really are a prick Angelus, your right that girl you saw isn't the slayer, but she is not the girl you think she is. She is strong and powerful and she doesn't need men like you and Riley making her feel week. I would never take advantage of her"  
  
"Why because you love her" Angel sarcastically said.  
  
"Oh go to hell" Spike said before storming off.  
  
Buffy stood outside the door shocked. She couldn't believe Angel thought so low of her yet Spike put her on a pedestal, she honestly thought it was the other way around. Why would Angel think that Spike would love her, more importantly why didn't Spike answer he could have just said no but he didn't. Buffy turned away from the door deciding not to worry about the keys. She wanted to get the store and buy that sexy little dress she had seen but never thought she could wear. Spikes comments had given her the extra confidence and in a way she wanted to say thankyou by looking nice. She hoped that she would be able to figure out exactly what was up with Spike.  
  
~TBC~ 


	18. Chapter 18

This Isn't me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 18  
  
Buffy nervously got dressed in the bathroom. She had bought the dress she had been eyeing and a pair of shoes to match. She hadn't maxed out his card but had bought matching lipstick to go with the dress. She knew she was spending a lot of his money but he said it was ok and was going to pay him back. Hopefully the way she was dressed tonight would make up for it a little. Buffy stepped into her dress and looked at her self in the mirror. The dress was dark red, with a low back meaning. it clung to her figure and finished just below her knee. When she first saw it she loved it but didn't think could wear it. All her legs and back would be exposed, she hadn't gone out dressed like that in awhile. Some of her scars and scratches did show but the worst was at the front and that was covered.  
  
"Hey Buffy you gonna be out soon" Spike whined "Angels getting edgy and hes starting to talk to me"  
  
"Give me five minutes, can I borrow your gel"  
  
"Yeah sure what ever, what's taking you so long"  
  
"It takes time to get beautiful"  
  
"Should take no time at all then Buffy" Angel called from behind Spike  
  
Spike cringed, that's what he had planned on saying when the great poof had decided to turn up.  
  
"Hey if you guys stand by the door it makes it hard to get ready now go, I will be out in a minute"  
  
Buffy grabbed strands of her hair and began covering them with Spikes gel before twisting them and pinning them to her head. After pinning a few to her head Buffy quickly applied the lipstick then ran out the door to the waiting vampires. Buffy walked into the lounge and saw Angel pacing by the door and Spike sitting down watching T.V. Angel looked up at saw Buffy and smiled.  
  
"Hey Buffy, you look great"  
  
"Thanks"  
  
Spike turned around to look at her just as she was spinning around to show Angel all of the dress. Spikes mouth gaped open. He knew she was beautiful but right now she was just god damn gorgeous. Spike suddenly felt like his old William wanker self when he was speechless. Jumping over the couch and running to the door Spike opened it and gestured for Buffy to walk out. Angel went to follow Buffy when Spike stepped in front of him leaving Angel glaring in his wake. Spike walked over to his car and opened the door for Buffy then turned to see where Angel had got to. He saw Angel get into his own car and Spike became confused. Climbing into his car Spike looked over at Angel.  
  
"Hey wanker you know we can go in the same car right"  
  
"Yeah umm I figured I would head back to L.A tonight, I was planning on staying longer if Buffy was coming back with me, but she seems alright here so I'll think I'll go"  
  
Spike smiled. Yes the wanker was going and leaving Buffy with him, Spike couldn't be happier. Spike put his car in reverse and spend away into the night with Angel following.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Buffy nervously walked into the club behind Spike. The place looked good but Buffy couldn't help but feel nervous. This was the place were her life had started going right but she was still worried that Riley would be there. Spike walked up the bar making sure that Buffy and Angel were following him.  
  
"Hey Luke"  
  
"Hey Will, nice girl you got there but who's the other guy"  
  
Spike laughed he knew he liked this guy. "The girl's Buffy and that wanker is Angel"  
  
The bartender gave Spike a shocked look. "Wow that's Buffy and Angel, you didn't mention Buffy was so hot"  
  
"Hey you keep your hands off her, look the last time I was here there was a guy here. Tall, muscles, looks like a dork, looks like he is in the army, he was in here with Buffy, but she looks a little different now"  
  
Luke looked at Buffy closely and Buffy twitched under his gaze.  
  
"Oh yeah I remember them, they left in a hurry, why?"  
  
"He's her ex husband, have you seen him in here since"  
  
"Umm yeah once, said he got knocked out behind the club wanted to know if anyone saw anything, said he cant remember what happened"  
  
Spike smirked "Umm yeah well if you see him can you call the cops, he's not allowed near Buffy and he's bad trouble ok"  
  
"Yeah sure Will"  
  
Spike turned back to Buffy and Angel. "The wanker was in here recently"  
  
Angel threw Spike a confused look.  
  
"The other wanker Angel not you, anyway he was only in here once so it should be ok. Let's grab a table"  
  
Buffy looked longingly at the dance floor.  
  
"Can I go dance" Buffy asked eagerly.  
  
"Sure pet" Spike said spotting a table. "We'll sit down"  
  
Buffy looked disappointed "Aren't you guys going to come"  
  
Angel looked at his shoes embarrassed he was not much of a dancer, but he didn't really want to see Buffy in Spikes arms again.  
  
"Nah luv maybe later" Spike said.  
  
"I'll hold you to that" she said before rushing off to the dance floor.  
  
Angel and Spike watched Buffy on the dance floor. She would dance with one guy flirt with him for a bit then lose interest. Angel smiled at this. She seemed to be having fun. It looked as if she hadn't had fun in awhile. Spike gripped his glass of beer so hard that it almost broke. The only thing keeping the glass from breaking was his conflicting emotions. God Buffy looks so sexy, but she's flirting with other guys, but she looks so sexy, but she's flirting with other guys. Buffy looked over and saw Spike staring at her; she waved at him then turned back to sexy but boring men. Spike had enough and decided he was going to join her on the dance floor. As he got closer to her he passed one of Buffys rejects.  
  
"What makes you think you've got a chance mate" the reject said rather pissed.  
  
Spike turned back to him and smiled. "Cause I know what she wants"  
  
Spike walked up behind Buffy and tapped her on the shoulder. "Care to dance"  
  
Buffy turned around expecting to see another loser but smiled when she saw Spike.  
  
"Umm yeah sure, beats dancing with them" she said throwing a look over her shoulder at the desperate men.  
  
"Well thanks Slayer I feel so flattered" Spike said trying to dance along with the music, but hopelessly failing.  
  
Buffy meanwhile kept dancing along to the music oblivious to her surrounding. Spike choose that moment to place his hands on her hips while she danced so as not to look like a goof. Buffy smiled when she felt his touch and continued her seductive dance. The song ended and Buffy stopped dancing to take a breath.  
  
"We are so coming here all the time, you do realise that right"  
  
Spike nodded. Sure as long as she wears something that sexy every time Spike thought. The lights dimmed and a slow song began to play. Spike became nervous, he wasn't sure if Buffy would want to dance this one with him but didn't want to insult her by not dancing. Buffy solved his problem when she placed her hands around his neck and narrowed the gap between them. Spike was shocked she was dancing so close and Angel was around somewhere. Spike relaxed a little and let his arms encircle her. Buffy nuzzled into Spikes embrace never feeling as free as she did now. There was just one thing weighing on her mind Angels and Spikes argument.  
  
"I heard your argument today"  
  
"What?" Spike asked shocked looking down at her.  
  
"Your argument I heard it well some of it I am not sure how much I missed"  
  
Shit Spike thought, what did she hear, oh god did she hear him say she wasn't the slayer.  
  
"That's nice"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath she was about to open a huge can of worms.  
  
"How do you feel about me" wow that came out faster than she thought.  
  
"How, do I feel about you?" he asked.  
  
"Well yeah, I heard Angel ask you if you loved me and well you didn't deny it, why didn't you deny it"  
  
Spike took a deep unneeded breath oh god here goes. "Cause that would be a lie"  
  
"Excuse me" Buffy asked surprised but not angry.  
  
"It would be a lie" he stuttered. Oh no here we go, she's going to run back to Angel cause she thinks I am a pervert.  
  
"Oh" Buffy snuggled back into his chest. He loves me he loves me he loves me.  
  
"That's all, ok, no stake through the heart"  
  
Buffy pulled away. "Spike does it look like I have a stake hidden on me"  
  
"Well no" he said admiring her. "There's not much that's hidden"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Oh so you like, I didn't think you did cause you didn't say anything at home"  
  
"No luv you look great and I am not the only one who think so"  
  
Buffy looked around and the guys staring at her "Yeah well I didn't dress up for them"  
  
Buffy leant back into Spike and continued to dance despite the fact that the song had changed. Spike was confused he had just told this girl that he loved her and she wasn't running away from him, maybe she felt something for him too. Oh well here goes nothing he thought.  
  
"Umm so how do you feel about me then"  
  
Buffy didn't look up at him. "I don't know"  
  
Spike began to pull away from the embrace but Buffy held him tight.  
  
"Maybe don't know aren't the best words, cause I do know I just don't understand"  
  
"Oh" Of course shes confused you nitwit, think about what's happened to her. "Do you wanna try explain it"  
  
Buffy looked up at him with a smile, he wanted to hear. "Umm sure ok"  
  
Buffy thought for a moment before she began, she had to get this all out and she had to get it all right. "Well I know that I can trust you, and that I care about you. Trust may not be a big thing for you but it is for me. Do you know the other night when I first came to and saw you I was glad. I was actually glad to see you"  
  
Buffy saw Spikes confused look and laughed.  
  
"I know I was surprised to, now don't be angry if I tell you this but I was hoping that you would kill me to end my torment. You always said you would give me a good death, and dieing by the hand of a vampire was a good death, especially for a Slayer. I wanted you to kill me so Riley wouldn't, cause you would do it right, not leave me half dead somewhere awaiting death, you'd make it quick.  
  
"Luv I wouldn't do something like that"  
  
"Yes you would but its ok, cause I would have wanted you to, you care when you kill a Slayer and that's what I would have needed. You took care of me that night, and if I was scared it wasn't because of you. You could have taken advantage of me that night but you didn't, so I know when you say you love me its not just to get into my pants. I don't know if I love you for all those reasons, cause I am not sure if I know what love is. For years I loved Riley out of necessity, but that's not real love. I loved Angel at one point, but what I feel for you is different. I don't want to hurt you by jumping to conclusions, I just need to work things out a little is that ok"  
  
Spike held Buffy tight. She actually admitted that she felt for him.  
  
"Yeah Buffy its ok, I didn't exactly fall in love with on the spot it took time, and I am willing to wait cause I don't want to you lose you as a friend or something more"  
  
The little voice inside his head was screaming at him, you know she feels something she kissed you, she kissed you.  
  
"But what about that kiss"  
  
Buffy got nervous "Yeah the kiss, I guess I just felt like it, you know in the moment, is that ok"  
  
In the moment hey, he thought well right now is the perfect moment to kiss here.  
  
"Well you understand now that I am in the moment and I feel like kissing you"  
  
Spike didn't wait for Buffys response as his lips were descending upon hers. When Spikes lips hit hers he was surprised at the force she was using to return the kiss. So much want and need. Spike broke the kiss surprised he was supposed to be kissing her not the other way around. Spike felt a tap on his shoulder and groaned. It was probably one of Buffys rejects and he was going to tell him to sod off. When Spike turned around he realised it was Angel.  
  
"Sod off"  
  
"Riley's here"  
  
"What?" Spike asked shocked breaking his hold on Buffy.  
  
"He's here I saw him walk in."  
  
"Well where is he now" Spike asked frantically searching the room, noticing Buffy doing the same.  
  
"I don't know I came to warn you guys"  
  
Buffy took a loud intake of breath when she felt a warm hand caress her bare back.  
  
~TBC~ 


	19. Chapter 19

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth  
  
Chapter 19  
  
Buffy Spike and Angel turned around to see the angry face of Riley.  
  
"Well well Buffy I knew you liked vampire love but come on a three some that's not really your style"  
  
Spike looked at Buffy expecting her to collapse or something but what she did surprised him.  
  
"No Riley that's your thing, but unlike you I can have 'Friends' who I don't sleep with can you say the same"  
  
Riley was shocked at her outburst she would never talk to him like that.  
  
"What's the matter Buffy didn't I give it to you rough enough, you know where the chains are if you wanna go again"  
  
Buffy smiled at him "No thanks prefer a lover who doesn't have to try to satisfy me" she said putting an arm around Spike.  
  
Riley's eyes weer full of rage when Buffy had touched Spike. "Get away from my wife, you freak" Riley screamed at Spike.  
  
"Sing a different tune mate I've heard this all before and she is not your wife"  
  
Realisation dawned on Riley, arguing with Spike was familiar. Spike had been there that night Buffy went missing.  
  
"You knocked me out the other night didn't you, you bastard, what did you do to the chip"  
  
Spike shot Buffy a glance and she raised her eyebrows at him.  
  
"It doesn't work" he said vamping out.  
  
Riley dove at Spike and he quickly jumped out of the way. He wasn't stupid as long as Riley believed that he didn't have the chip then it would keep Buffy safe. Riley jumped Spike again and this time landed on him when Spike stumbled over a chair. Angel ran over to Riley and pulled him of his grandchilde. Riley fell to the ground next where Buffy was standing.  
  
"Buffy help me sweetie, you remember how to slay right"  
  
Buffy held her hand out to Riley which surprised both Angel and Spike. What surprised them more was when she backhanded Riley back down.  
  
"Know this Riley, your weak I am strong, I will always be stronger than you no matter what you do, so get it into your head I will always be better than you"  
  
Riley looked up at her threw blood blurry eyes. "But how he stammered, I drugged you"  
  
"Yeah and I have recovered, now you're the week one"  
  
Luke came over to the group. "You there get out of here now, I have called the cops"  
  
Riley pulled a knife out of his boot "you little bitch, ill show you who's weak"  
  
Riley started advancing on Buffy but Luke stepped in his way.  
  
"I told you to get out" Luke tried to grab the knife out of Riley's hand but he wouldn't let go. Riley and Luke began to struggle and both fell to the floor when one of them tripped. Buffy ran over to the two trying to separate them but got knocked in the knee by a flailing limb. Spike and Angel tried to keep an eye on who had the knife but they had lost sight of it. Suddenly the two on the floor stopped rolling and everyone stopped still watching for life. Spike ran over to the two and pulled Riley off of Luke. Luke face was covered with blood and his hands were clutching something by his stomach. Spike realised it was a blood soaked knife with the blade reaching up to the ceiling. Looking over at Riley Spike saw that his stomach was covered with blood and he want moving. Spike walked over to Riley and kicked him in the leg, he didn't move. Angel came over and checked his pulse. He looked over at Buffy and shook his head.  
  
"He's dead"  
  
"Excuse us please let us through" Buffy looked up to see two police men making there was through the crowd. One of them ran over to Riley and looked him over.  
  
"What happened to him" the other yelled.  
  
"He just went nuts and tried to attack them" someone in the crowd yelled pointing at Buffy, Spike and Angel.  
  
"Is that true" he asked them  
  
All three nodded.  
  
"Alright then I am going to need some information then, who is this guy" he said pointing to Riley's dead body.  
  
"He's my ex husband" Buffy stuttered. "Riley Finn"  
  
"And he attacked you" the policeman asked.  
  
"He bloody tried to fondle her that's what he did, then he came after me" Spike said trying to clear Buffy of anything.  
  
"I see and who are you and what is your relationship with this girl"  
  
"I am Spike, she's Buffy and she is umm my room mate"  
  
"Ok, do you know why he attacked"  
  
"He was angry about the divorce," Buffy said falling into a chair.  
  
"Are you alright miss"  
  
Buffy shook her head her knee was swollen and red.  
  
"Well ok we need you to answer some more questions down at the station, we can fix you up there"  
  
Buffy got up and the officer helped her walk pout of the room. Spike went to follow but the other officer stopped him.  
  
"Look mate we will need you to stay to clarify a few things you can pick her up later ok"  
  
Spike looked reluctantly at Buffy then nodded at the officer.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Buffy sat in the police station looking at the floor wondering what had just happened. The night had started out great then Riley turned up then Riley was dead then the police had question her and now she was waiting for Spike to pick her up. The police had gone over her statement again and then got some details on Riley and had then called his parents. Buffy told the police than she didn't want anything to do with them and to tell them not to bother her with any Riley issues, they could have everything Riley owned. Buffy felt very self conscience sitting there in the police station while criminals walked past and ogled at her. Two black booted feet appeared in Buffys eyes site and she looked up to she a very dishevelled Spike.  
  
"Is Luke ok" she asked.  
  
Spike nodded sitting down next to her. "Yeah it was all Riley's blood, hes gonna be ok every one saw the same thing so its self defence, he wont have to go to court"  
  
"That's good"  
  
"You ok luv" Spike asked  
  
"My knees a little sore still, I'll be alright in a few days"  
  
"That's not what I meant"  
  
"Oh" she said looking up at him through sad eyes. "He's always been dead to me you know, just now its official, its kinda freaky, but I think I will be ok, where's Angel"  
  
"He left, didn't think he should stay, well actually I told him to rack off cause I could handle it, he said to ring if we want him to come back. He said he might visit in a few months"  
  
"I don't need to call him, I want to go home"  
  
"Ok" Spike said taking off his jacket. "Here you'll need this its cold out side"  
  
Buffy wobbly stood up and put the jacket on. Spike put his arm around her so she could support her self on him.  
  
"I am so used to looking over my shoulder Spike, what do I do now"  
  
~TBC~ 


	20. Chapter 20 Final

This Isn't Me By Natalie Elizabeth

Chapter 20

Buffy walked into the apartment and immediately slumped on the couch. Her knee was still sore a little but she at least could walk now with out Spikes help. Spike could see Buffys tiredness and decided to draw Buffy a bath. He quickly left the room and returned a few minutes later.

"Come on luv, you need to relax" Spike held out his hand to Buffy.

Buffy took his hand and walked over to the bathroom with him. She saw the bubble bath and smiled.

"Thank you"

Spike walked out and Buffy turned around quickly.

"Can you come back" she asked.

Spike turned around confused. "What"

"When I get in can you come back I don't want to be alone"

Spike was baffled "Umm sure ok"

Buffy shut the door and Spike waited. Spike heard the splashing of water then heard Buffy call him in.

Spike walked in and saw Buffy laying in the tub only her head escaping the bubbles. Spike sat down on the side of the tub and placed his hands on her shoulder.

"Is this ok?" he asked rubbing her shoulders.

Buffy nodded closing her eyes and enjoying the sensation of the warm water and Spike cold hands. Buffy shoulders were tense and Spike knew that his were as well. He wondered what Buffy was going to do now; Riley was gone for good. Spike was worried that the doctor was right, that Buffy was only latching on to him because he was familiar. Spike was worried that now he was gone she didn't need him and he would be that rebound guy.

"Buffy can I ask you something, and please don't take this the wrong way"

"I am not going to the funeral Spike, I don't want anything to do with it"

"Umm that's not what I was going to ask" happy that she wasn't going to the funeral.

"Umm how do you feel about me now after all of this has happened, has it changed"

"What" she asked confused.

"Well now that your safe from Riley are you going to leave, you don't need me anymore"

Buffy turned around shocked then realised that she was baring all to him then quickly turned back. "What are you talking about"

"You know what I am talking about" he said sternly.

Buffy thought for a second then got angry. "You thought I made you the rebound guy don't you, how could you think that low of me. Spike the way I feel for you has nothing to do with Riley ok. Ok yes I am a little freaked out about what happened, I still feel the same way but I am confused, I cant act on what I feel just now ok. I know I asked for time to figure out what this thing I feel and tonight has just made it worse. Has this changed what you feel for me"

"Yes"

Buffy slumped in the bath "Oh, ok

"I care for you even more"

Buffy tuned around this time holding her chest. "Why"

"I thought I cared for you cause you needed me, like Drusilla, but tonight you made me love you for your strength, not physical but mental. You really were tough in front of Riley and I didn't expect it and I was filled with pride knowing that I had something to do with it. "

Buffy sat shocked for a second with a smile twinging on her lips.

Spike got up. "I'll let you finish your bath, I'll be in the lounge ok"

After a few minutes Buffy came into the lounge. Spike looked up at her from the couch and noticed that she was wearing one of his long t-shirts.

"You cold luv"

Buffy shrugged "Umm kinda, I saw one of my scares in the mirror and it reminded me of Riley, I guess its just giving the shakes"

Buffy looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost one in the morning. "I should call Xander"

Spike was confused why would she call Xander if anything he thought she would call Angel.

"Why?"

"They were friends, before everything happened that is, he should know, I haven't called him in a couple of days, he should know I am ok"

"Umm ok but isn't it late"

Buffy shrugged "Time difference it'll be ok"

Buffy walked off into the kitchen and picked up the telephone and dialled Xanders number. Spike got off the couch and got as close to Buffy without her seeing him and possible feeling him so he could listen in. After a few rings Xander picked up

"Hey this is the Xand man, what's up"

"Hey Xander its Buffy, I didn't wake you did I"

"Hey Buffy, no no up with the twins what's up"

Buffy sighed "I have some bad news, umm Riley's dead"

"What, you didn't kill him did you?"

Buffy was shocked. "No I didn't kill him, he was in a bar fight"

"Really what happened"

"Umm I was out celebrating with my friend, I got the divorce, I apparently know some people who know people, anyway he saw us and got pissed he tried to attack us. He pulled out a knife but the bartender got involved, he accidentally killed him"

"Jeez Buffy are you alright do you want me to come get you"

"No Xander I am fine I am here with my friend and hes looking after me"

"Are you sure you don't want me to come get you, we would love to see you"

Buffy rolled her eyes "No Xander I am fine, just a little shaken up"

"Well please come down for Christmas then"

Buffy thought for a second. "Umm maybe, I'll have to see, I have a job now, nothing great but its money right"

"Come on Buffy you will get a few days off Willow and everyone will be back"

It would be great to see all the gang again but could she leave Spike, not after all they had been through.

"Can I bring my friend"

Spike was shocked did she say what he think she said.

"Who is this friend?" Xander asked.

"I won't tell you until you say he can come and you cant go back on your word"

"Alright he can come now who is he"

"Its Spike"

"What's Spike"

"My friend, the one I am staying with the one who has taken care of me, it Spike"

"Buffy get out of the house I am coming to get you" Xander yelled.

"Xander clam down its ok"

"Its Spike"

"I know its Spike" she yelled "But he's not who you think he is, I would be dead with out him"

"Are you sure your ok"

"I couldn't be better, now is it still ok if we come, cause I wont come with out him"

"I guess but if he tries to eat anyone or scare my kids he dust"

"I promise he wont, I better let you go it's late and I need to get some sleep, I just thought you would want to know"

"Yeah thanks Buffy, I'll call you closer to Christmas to make sure you are coming"

"Ok ok Xander talk to you soon ok"

Buffy hanged up the telephone and Spike scurried back to his space on the couch.

"Everything ok" Spike asked

"Yeah Xander invited us up for Christmas, as if you didn't know"

"What?" Spike asked shocked

"I know you were listening"

"Well it's my phone"

"Whatever I don't mind, you heard what I said to Xander, so that should reaffirm my feelings" Buffy walked off towards the room and Spike followed.

Buffy walked into the room and noticed that Spike had only made it as far as the doorway. "What are you doing?" she asked

"Making sure you get to bed alright"

"And you can't do that from inside the room"

Spike looked down nervously "I was going to let you sleep alone tonight, I thought that would be best"

"That's the last thing I need"

"Are you sure" he said walking into the room.

"Yep" she said getting into bed "Turn the light off"

Spike did as she said then quickly changed before climbing into bed beside her. Buffy rolled over and snuggled against Spike.

"Thank you Spike"

"For what?"

"For everything, that life I had before, that girl I was, that wasn't me. This hair, this strength, this job, this person who cares for me so much, THIS IS ME.

The End.


End file.
